Herding Sheep in Iceland, Watching Hockey Respectfully, Hailing Cabs in Winter, and More

Nick: Do you bother people who are trying to work? Do you hail taxis the wrong way? Do you let Leah be in charge? Were you raised by wolves? Let's find out!

[Theme Song]

Here are things that can make it better

When we have to live together

We can all use a little help

So people don't ask themselves

Were you raised by wolves?

Nick: Hey, everybody. It's Nick Leighton.

Leah: And it's Leah Bonnema.

Nick: And let's just get right down to it with our amuse bouche.

Leah: Let's get in it!

Nick: So for today's amuse bouche, Leah's in charge.

Leah: Yes, I am.

Nick: [laughs] So the tables have turned. As you may not know, Leah never knows what the amuse bouche is in advance. And in a recent episode, Leah wanted to know if she could do it. And I said yes. And now I'm actually experiencing the anxiety that Leah, I guess, has experienced in every other episode not knowing. Don't love it.

Leah: [laughs] Well, my anxiety is, you know, you're so organized.

Nick: Uh-huh?

Leah: And it's like, "Oh, here's what it is and let me explain this." And I'm sure all of our listeners know, I'm a little ADHD. And so I like to tell people how it feels in a roundabout story. So I was like, let's try to make this linear.

Nick: Okay.

Leah: For others.

Nick: Well, we'll see how this goes.

Leah: We'll see how it goes. Also, I wanted to say why I thought of this was because when you were doing the baby jumping from España ...

Nick: Si.

Leah: ... it reminded me of something else.

Nick: Right.

Leah: And then I was like, "Oh, I want to—I want to talk about that." And then I was doing the exact research instead of the how-it-feels research, which for me is the research. But—and then I was like, "Oh, this is very particular to a very particular time of year."

Nick: Okay.

Leah: So I want to save that one.

Nick: Oh, so there's, like, going to be another one?

Leah: Yeah.

Nick: Oh, wow. Okay. All right. So for today, it's not that. It's something else.

Leah: It's not that. So then I was like, what is something ...

Nick: Already you're off to a great start, Leah. Real linear.

Leah: [laughs] Oh, I don't—this part's not gonna be linear at all. I want you to know—I want you to know how I got there.

Nick: Okay.

Leah: And then so I was like, what is something that I would love to know the etiquette about? And I was like, animals.

Nick: Sure.

Leah: So I'm giving you a hint. Animals.

Nick: Okay. Animal etiquette. Okay.

Leah: So Nick, are you familiar with Réttir?

Nick: One more time?

Leah: Réttir?

Nick: Okay, it sounds like it's a foreign word the way you're saying it.

Leah: Réttir?

Nick: [laughs] Okay, I am not familiar with Reactir.

Leah: Réttir.

Nick: Whoa, whoa. Okay, there's a space or an apostrophe in there.

Leah: There is not—I'm just making sure that there's no C in there.

Nick: Réttir. Okay. Nope, not ringing a bell.

Leah: Okay. So it's Icelandic.

Nick: Okay, I'm sensing a Björk vibe from this.

Leah: Okay, fantastic. That's what I was trying to put out. And it takes place in September.

Nick: Okay.

Leah: Sometimes in some areas, early October.

Nick: Okay.

Leah: Now what Réttir is, is that people let their sheep free graze in Iceland.

Nick: Okay.

Leah: So in the summer, the sheep just free-range graze out in the highlands. They let them out to pasture, they go do their thing, they eat, they run around, they party in the highlands. And each farmer marks their sheep with an ear tag.

Nick: Okay.

Leah: However, reading some interviews, farmers said, "I don't need to look for the ear tag, I know my sheep."

Nick: Wow!

Leah: Mm-hmm, I love that.

Nick: Okay.

Leah: So then, Réttir is the day where they bring in all the sheep. And so it's farmers, close friends, family.

Nick: Because is it, like, hard to get the sheep back?

Leah: Well, they say some people take days, because the sheep are out there grazing.

Nick: Okay. Wow!

Leah: So people go out with horses, they'll go out with ATVs, they will walk, depending.

Nick: Okay, so we have to get the whole village involved.

Leah: And the whole village is bringing all the sheep in, and then they're sorting them into whose farm it is.

Nick: Oh, so basically all the sheep are coming in, and then we're figuring out whose was whose.

Leah: Yeah.

Nick: So we're just, like—we're all cooperating to, like, get all the sheep in and then we'll figure it out.

Leah: And then the Réttir day is the day the sheep actually go into the pens.

Nick: The sorting.

Leah: And then supposedly we celebrate Réttir at the end with some food, with some beverages, with some music.

Nick: Okay, I like this tradition.

Leah: It's a very big day, because sheep is such a big part of the Icelandic culture.

Nick: Yeah.

Leah: And Réttir has been going on for over a thousand years.

Nick: A thousand years?

Leah: Yes. And the importance of sheep in the Icelandic culture goes back to the Vikings.

Nick: Oh, okay. That makes sense.

Leah: So they use it for meat, they use it for wool. And the—we got another word coming up, the famous Icelandic sweaters.

Nick: Oh, what are those called?

Leah: You know the sweaters? They're—well, for short you can call them lopis.

Nick: Okay.

Leah: You know I'm talking about the sweaters that have, like, the circles around the neck?

Nick: Mm-hmm?

Leah: Or the full word is lopapeysa.

Nick: Okay. I love that you learned some Icelandic for this.

Leah: I really worked on it hard, and probably since I listened to it and now it's off, but it's close. So what I thought was very interesting about this is that the internet is very divided as to whether or not tourists can and should participate.

Nick: Oh, interesting! Because I guess what is the pro and con? I mean, if I was not getting in the way, like, don't you want my help getting the sheep in?

Leah: Well, some farmers say it's basically like if somebody showed up at your job.

Nick: Oh, interesting. Okay.

Leah: Or not basically, it is somebody showing up at your job and being like, "Let me help you do this even though I've never done it before."

Nick: Oh, true. Yeah. Okay, I could see that angle.

Leah: There was an article on Reddit that was translated, and they were like, if you could read it in the not English version, you get it better. And I was like, well, I can't. But basically, the woman was saying people can hurt her sheep.

Nick: Oh, yeah!

Leah: Like, they want to get involved. You could hurt the sheep, and you end up sort of like messing up the—they've been doing this, you know, for so long, you mess up the order.

Nick: Yeah, there's a rhythm to it.

Leah: And it's not a tourist attraction. But then other people were like, "Come out! We love to have people watch, you know, get involved." And then one tourist was like, "I go every year and I always bring bananas."

Nick: [laughs] Okay.

Leah: Which was very specific. So seemingly, I read some Facebook groups, if you know a farmer and you're invited ...

Nick: Sure.

Leah: Yes. If you're with a tour group that has specific permission, because apparently there's tours that go out to different communities and go on their day and help, but make sure that your tour group actually has permission from the town or the specific farmers. They're not just showing up.

Nick: Oh, yeah. That's wild.

Leah: So I thought it was very interesting that it was very divided even amongst the Icelandic people, how they felt about it.

Nick: What if I just want to show up for après? Après Réttir?

Leah: I never thought of that, because for me I would only want to be there for the animals.

Nick: Oh, yeah. For me, I want to be there for the celebration part. [laughs] Okay. Yeah, is there like an après party?

Leah: I'm sure that you could show up for the après party, because what the general—what people were worried about was their sheep being hurt and people getting in the way of the sorting.

Nick: I think that's a good point. I mean, I would not know how to get a sheep. Is there a YouTube video about how to do this?

Leah: Oh, I'm sure there is.

Nick: Probably.

Leah: It's probably like the same guy that told me how to change the filters in my own car. You know what I mean? He knows everything. But also they were saying, like, sometimes people come and they just want to take videos, but then they get directly in the way.

Nick: Yeah. That's not cool.

Leah: Not cool.

Nick: Well, this is wonderful! Okay, I learned—I definitely did not know about this, and now I want to learn a little more and I want to actually see video of this, and I want to, like, actually see what this looks like.

Leah: There's some really fun videos. And I love it when people are like, "I know my sheep." Because I mean, of course!

Nick: I mean, how many sheep are we even talking about?

Leah: It's really different for different—well, watch—watch some videos. They are—it's really different for different places, but some of them it's just like massive amounts of sheep coming down from the Highlands.

Nick: Cool. Very cool. Well, thank you, Leah!

Leah: Well, thank you, Nick!

Nick: How was your first amuse-bouche? Harder than it looks, right?

Leah: I think what's particularly hard is being like, I need to put this into the way that other people think.

Nick: [laughs] Yeah. Beginning, middle, end? Yeah.

Leah: I like to start in the middle of a story. Maybe tell something related.

Nick: Uh-huh?

Leah: Come back, then I'll do the beginning.

Nick: Sure.

Leah: We may or may not get to the end.

Nick: [laughs] I mean, it's very Zen. No beginning, no end.

Leah: [laughs]

Nick: It's wonderful. Well, you did great, Leah.

Leah: Thank you.

Nick: Thank you.

Nick: And we're back. And now it's time to go deep.

Leah: Deep and on a Zamboni.

Nick: Okay. So for today's question of etiquette, I want to talk about hockey.

Leah: And I hate to pull this card, Nick.

Nick: Oh, okay.

Leah: But I went to school in Montreal.

Nick: Sure. All right. So you might know something about this.

Leah: No, but I have friends.

Nick: Okay. You're adjacent.

Leah: That I reached out to.

Nick: Oh, you got some first-person sourcing?

Leah: And I said give me your number one etiquette about hockey.

Nick: Love it.

Leah: What do you think is the number one etiquette?

Nick: Okay. I mean, if it's coming from Canada, it's true.

Leah: Oh, and these are also hardcore hockey people. It's not just Canada.

Nick: Even better. And hockey is definitely in the zeitgeist right now.

Leah: It is.

Nick: So I thought this was a great topic. So I'll just read mine and then we'll get to your more official list. I was looking at the etiquette archives that I have, and Emily Post, she wrote a book called Children Are People.

Leah: Okay. [laughs]

Nick: [laughs] 1940. And so she talks about how to attend a game—including hockey. And so she's got a great quote, which is this: "There is no ban against talking, no ban against eating or chewing gum, and no ban against yelling at the top of your lungs when your team scores. The only inconsiderate thing to guard against is jumping up in your excitement and forgetting that to those behind you, you are not transparent."

Leah: Okay.

Nick: Yeah. So that's it. You are not transparent. And so just don't block the view of people behind you if you get real excited.

Leah: If you jump up, sit down so fast.

Nick: I mean, I think we want to make sure everybody has a good time. I mean, I think we just want to make sure that my enthusiasm does not diminish everybody else's enjoyment.

Leah: Yeah. I think that's a great rule for everything.

Nick: Well, I mean, yes, of course.

Leah: Well, I mean, yes, of course.

Nick: Yes. All right. So what did your Canadians say?

Leah: So I said, what would be the number one thing that you would want to share with me about hockey etiquette?

Nick: Okay.

Leah: And my friend Katie, one of my besties and a huge hockey person ...

Nick: Okay?

Leah: She plays, her kids play, she watches. I mean, she is hockey.

Nick: This is an authority.

Leah: So she said, "Let me give you an example that will sum up hockey fans."

Nick: Oh!

Leah: Which I love. I love an example. "Toronto had a homegrown player named Mitch Marner, and he played for us when he started in 2016 to when he was traded to Vegas in 2025. Last weekend, Vegas played in Toronto, and it was his big return. There was a moment in the early part of the game where the arena mentioned he was back and highlighted his Leaf career—Leaf is the Toronto Maple Leafs, their team.

Nick: Right.

Leah: "Everyone clapped and he tipped his hat. But once the game was on, every time he touched the puck, everybody booed."

Nick: [laughs]

Leah: So the etiquette is you acknowledge the history and the effort and the legacy, but in the heat of the moment, the game is the game and an opponent is an opponent.

Nick: Wow! Okay. Yes. I think that is sort of what separates hockey from other games.

Leah: Yeah. It's like very respectful.

Nick: Mm-hmm. Yes. We appreciate tradition.

Leah: And then what happens on the ice stays on the ice.

Nick: And I think an important thing to remember is that, like, while fighting might be sort of part of hockey on some level on the ice, it is definitely not okay in the stands. So I feel like let's just not do that.

Leah: I actually happen to have a note on that exactly.

Nick: Oh, yeah? Okay.

Leah: So it is quote, "Opposing teams in hockey rarely argue in the stands, but also especially if you are in the quote, 'original six.'"

Nick: What is that?

Leah: And that's because you know the history and the legacy and how to conduct yourself. The original six teams are the Montreal Canadiens, the Toronto Maple Leafs, the Boston Bruins, the New York Rangers, the Detroit Red Wings and the Chicago Blackhawks.

Nick: Okay, so if I am fans of one of those ...

Leah: You're one of the original six.

Nick: And so if I'm part of the original six, then, like, what?

Leah: Then you know the legacy and history, so you're not fighting in the stands.

Nick: Oh, I'm particularly well-behaved because I know better.

Leah: You are particularly well-behaved.

Nick: Okay. I wonder, is that really true? Does that actually hold up? No Maple Leaf fans are ever getting into fights?

Leah: I'm sure there are some people getting in fights, but ...

Nick: But they shouldn't if you're part of the six. If you're not part of the Six, if you're part of the San Jose Sharks, does that still exist?

Leah: How would I know?

Nick: I don't know. Oh, why are we talking about sports on this show?

Leah: [laughs]

Nick: But yes, if you are a fan of a team that's not the six, you should still not fight in the stands. You should still know better.

Leah: And I'm sure every now and again something happens, people get worked up, but I think what the point is is keep it on the ice.

Nick: Keep it on the ice. Exactly. And last thing I was thinking of, which is the penalty box. And so this is something sort of unique to hockey, I think. Very few sports actually have a physical penalty box, and I really just wish we could somehow take the penalty box concept to the real world and apply etiquette to it.

Leah: Oh my goodness, me too.

Nick: I mean, just to be able to put people in an etiquette penalty box? Oh!

Leah: I mean ...

Nick: How can we make this happen?

Leah: It would solve so many things if we could just penalty box people.

Nick: Oh, it just—it's not forever. I mean, there's a time on it, but some people just need to be put in an etiquette penalty box.

Leah: I agree. Hard agree.

Nick: Yeah. I mean, yeah, who—who would disagree with this?

Leah: I'm hoping literally nobody.

Nick: Right. Yeah. And if you are, well, then that's suspicious.

Leah: That's because you probably belong in the etiquette penalty box.

Nick: So that's hockey. That's just like a little taste, puck-sized nibble.

Leah: Just a little drop in the—I was gonna say in that frozen water, but ...

Nick: I mean, we'll go with that.

Leah: Okay.

Nick: [laughs]

Nick: And we're back. And now it's time to take some questions from you all in the wilderness.

Leah: [howls]

Nick: So our first question is quote, "How do you navigate house guests when you work from home? You tell them you're working, they see you working, but they see you. So in their minds, you are accessible. I take little breaks and chat and I recommend activities, but I live in a desirable vacation area, and while we're hospitable, we're not always on vacation. Okay, I vented. It's happening now. Venting will keep me from screaming!"

Leah: Yeah, you gotta get it out.

Nick: Well, this is real time. [laughs]

Leah: That's 50 percent of why Nick and I are here. You gotta get it out.

Nick: Yeah. Yeah. No, we are your outlet.

Leah: And I feel this one. I get this.

Nick: I get it. Yeah. I mean, the first thing I thought when I read this was the first rule of having a vacation home is not telling people you have a vacation home. But the problem is this is a primary residence.

Leah: [laughs] This is their home.

Nick: And so then, I was thinking, like, okay, we have to update this rule. The first rule of having a primary residence in a nice vacation town is don't tell people where you live.

Leah: So we're already past this.

Nick: I mean, yeah, they know where you live. So you have to move somewhere new, but then not tell them. That's the solution.

Leah: But barring that ...

Nick:*[laughs]* Okay?

Leah: ... I think we could try being very specific with our time. "I have to work. I'll check with you in three hours." And then go somewhere and shut a door.

Nick: Yeah. I think we just need to set some boundaries. And you can apologize, like, "Oh, so sorry. I have a regular workday tomorrow, but here are some activities you could do, and I look forward to catching up with you after five o'clock."

Leah: Yeah.

Nick: Right? And I think the problem is not everybody has doors. And so I think the problem here is, like, where I'm working, you can see me. So I think we need headphones.

Leah: Headphones would be great.

Nick: We need the universal signal of "Don't talk to me."

Leah: I also have one of those movable screens.

Nick: Oh, that's interesting!

Leah: And you could just sort of bring it out and put it in front of wherever you're sitting.

Nick: Yeah, like a folding screen with, like, some rice paper in it.

Leah: Yeah. And be like, "I just gotta put this up because it helps me focus when people are here."

Nick: Love that. Oh, yeah. And then when you take it down, that's the signal, like, "Okay, work is over now. You can talk to me."

Leah: Now I'm available.

Nick: I like that. Oh, that's very good. I was also thinking whenever we're, like, taking something away, we're setting a boundary, sometimes it's nice if possible to offer something in exchange. So, like, "Oh, so sorry. I have to work all day, but let me take a break at three o'clock. Let's have a fika. Let's have a little coffee break. Let's have a little pastry and, like, a little catch up. Like just, you know, 20 minutes, 30 minutes, and then I'll go back to work."

Leah: I love that for two reasons. One, I think it works.

Nick: Yeah.

Leah: Nope. I take it back. I love that for three reasons.

Nick: Oh!

Leah: One, I think it's a great suggestion. It'll work.

Nick: Yes.

Leah: Two, I love coffee.

Nick: Okay.

Leah: Three, our letter-writer is gonna get to work fika into their repertoire.

Nick: Sure. Yes. Yeah. No, you can't just have a coffee break. You need to have a fika.

Leah: A fika.

Nick: Yeah. So I think that's the solution. Just set some good boundaries. And I think just note if a guest doesn't respect that boundary after you have set that boundary, well then, that guest will not return.

Leah: Well, I think we give them a shot where we say, "I really have to work."

Nick: Okay. You'll give them a second chance.

Leah: So—and then we look them in the eye, like, "You gotta get it."

Nick: [laughs] Okay. "Because if you don't, you're off the guest list forever. And I live in a nice vacation town, so this is gonna hurt you way more than it's gonna hurt me."

Leah: That part we say quietly, silently in our heads.

Nick: [laughs] So our next question is quote, "I recently serendipitously connected with somebody I knew many years ago. He was the father of a friend of my daughter's back when they were in grade school. They are now 30. I always thought he was nice, but our interactions did not go beyond pleasantries at school functions and when picking up at playdates. It's not like we were friends. I literally have not given him a thought in 20-something years. He had called my place of business recently, and I did not realize who he was until after the call. I emailed him with the information he had requested, and mentioned who I was and pointed out our connection. Later that day, he left me a voicemail and sent me an email saying how nice it would be to visit and catch up. I don't think it was anything other than friendly, but I found it odd. I would, of course, be happy to visit for a few moments if I were to run into him in person, but I have no intention of connecting beyond that. Do I need to reply to his email or phone call? If so, what should I say?"

Leah: I'm gonna step a little bit off the Leah path on this one.

Nick: Oh, okay!

Leah: And I'm gonna do a straight no.

Nick: Oh, wow. That is—that's not a step off the Leah path, that's a whole other part of town.

Leah: [laughs] This is just a no.

Nick: Yeah. I winced. My reaction when I saw this, I actually physically winced because I was like, "Ugh!" Because I don't want to have to take time out of my day for an awkward coffee with you. Like, I don't want that.

Leah: And I'm just gonna throw this out there.

Nick: Sure.

Leah: So I once responded to something like this in real time, because I thought it was like a polite, oh, sure, I'll show up, and we'll—and then it somehow was—I was on a date with this person.

Nick: Oh! Oh!

Leah: They were like, our date. And I was like, oh.

Nick: Okay.

Leah: Oh, no, no, no, no, no. I was doing this out of you asking, and I was trying to be polite, and now we're on a date.

Nick: Okay. Ah. Oh, could that be what's happening here? Hmm.

Leah: And it's just—I mean, it might not be that.

Nick: It might not be that, but it could be that. It could definitely be that.

Leah: It could be that. And because, I mean, #NotAllMen ...

Nick: But ...

Leah: ... but also you don't know this person. You have no interest in knowing this person, and you can't call back and say, "I really have no interest in knowing you." That's not a phone call you can make.

Nick: Well, also what's a little tricky is that this is a potential customer or maybe even current customer. So there's like a business thing that's now happening.

Leah: And our letter-writer already completed the business aspect.

Nick: I assume that the transaction, whatever it was, is sort of done. I've sent you the information you need. But if that's not the case, if that was sort of like information that may lead to business, then that just got way more awkward. If it is truly complete, it's still a little rude to not respond at all, though. I mean, you have no obligation.

Leah: It isn't—it quite possibly could be a little rude, but unfortunately I feel like in this world we have to protect ourselves ...

Nick: For sure.

Leah: ... from random men who want to A) think we're on a date; or B) don't have anybody to talk to about some life crisis. And you show up trying to be polite, and they spend the next three hours of your life telling you about some bad breakup they went through or how they don't know how to deal with their mom.

Nick: [laughs] Okay. Yeah. No, that's very possible. What about the response something along the lines of, "If you're near the office sometime, would love to say hi if you pop by." So, like, we're not gonna schedule something but, like, if you're near the office and want to say hi, like, happy to say hi.

Leah: Our letter-writer doesn't want to see this person unless they run into them.

Nick: Okay. We don't like the pop by the office thing? I mean, I don't love that, but that felt like the most noncommittal.

Leah: I guess what I dislike about this—I feel like I've been in this position so many times, and what I dislike is that anybody who knows somebody who then I knew at some point can say, "Oh, hey. I'd love to meet up," and then I have to somehow deal with that, even though it's like, I didn't invite this on myself. I was just doing my job.

Nick: Yeah. And even saying no is sort of emotional effort here.

Leah: Yeah. It's too much effort. You—it was a business interaction. What the person who left the message should have said, "You know, if I see you out when we're out and about, I'd love to say hi."

Nick: Right. Also phone call and email?

Leah: Come on!

Nick: That's a bit much.

Leah: It's too much.

Nick: Yeah. That actually—your theory about, like, oh, is this just a friendly catch up? That feels less likely when there's multiple modes of communication. Like, did he need to follow up with a phone call and email? Do we need both things? I don't think so.

Leah: And it could also be that he was just, like, trying to be polite, in which case you don't have to respond anyway, because it was just throwaway.

Nick: Right. Yeah, how sincere was it? Okay. So I think if there's an ongoing business thing, then I think we just keep it business, because you will probably be in touch with him about, like, some proposal or some invoice or something, in which case we just ignore this in those communications. Or you hand it off to a colleague to deal with. Like, "Hey, can you deal with this guy? Like, this is now your client."

Leah: Also another great idea. I think their business is done.

Nick: It does kind of feel that way. In which case ...

Leah: He just wants to get together and tell you about his divorce and dump on you.

Nick: [laughs] Yeah. I mean, it's not not that.

Leah: Which I've also had happen to me. And you're like ...

Nick: Yeah. No, all of your examples feel very ripped from the headlines of your life.

Leah: [laughs]

Nick: None of this felt hypothetical.

Leah: And all of these things I just did out of sort of feeling like I should be a good person.

Nick: Yeah. No, no. Set—set those boundaries. So you out there, want to set some boundaries with us? Let us know! Send us your questions, your vents, your repents, and everything else. You can send them to us through our website, WereYouRaisedByWolves.com. Or you can leave us a voicemail or send us a text message: (267) CALL-RBW.

Nick: And we're back. And now it's time to play a game we like to call Vent or Repent.

Leah: Vent or Repent!

Nick: Which is our opportunity to vent about some bad etiquette experience we've had recently, or we can repent for some etiquette faux pas we've committed. So Leah, would you like to vent or repent?

Leah: I'm gonna vent.

Nick: Okay. What has happened?

Leah: You know, I had a repent, but I actually apologized in real time to a stranger.

Nick: It's null and void.

Leah: And the stranger accepted my apology.

Nick: Okay. All right. So I guess we'll never speak of it again.

Leah: It was actually very lovely. I was like, oh, you can just do this.

Nick: [laughs] Yes. Yes, you can apologize in real time.

Leah: [laughs] I had to, like, stop and go back. And I was like—and she was like, "It's all good." And I was like, "Look at that!"

Nick: How wonderful! Okay, well, now give me a vent.

Leah: All right, so I don't know what's going on with unleashed dogs.

Nick: Uh-huh?

Leah: You know I love dogs.

Nick: Oh, sure. Yeah.

Leah: I center my life around my dogs.

Nick: Yeah. Yeah. No, it's really no joke.

Leah: Something's going on where people—I'm not talking about on, like, hiking trails or in dog parks, or—I'm talking about walking down the street with an unleashed dog.

Nick: Just urban environment, downtown Los Angeles.

Leah: Just walking down the street.

Nick: Yeah, that kind of feels irresponsible.

Leah: What are we doing?

Nick: Yeah, that doesn't seem like a good idea.

Leah: Or it doesn't even have to be in the city. It could also be in a town. I see it everywhere. It's happening everywhere.

Nick: Yeah, not good.

Leah: It's not good because some people are nervous around dogs, so it's unfair to other people.

Nick: Yeah.

Leah: Many people have dogs, and some of those dogs don't like other dogs.

Nick: Yeah.

Leah: And that's why they're leashed.

Nick: Yeah. And I feel like people who have their dogs off leash are like, "Oh, my dog's friendly."

Leah: They always say that.

Nick: Right.

Leah: That gets to my point.

Nick: [laughs] Right. It's like, your dog might be, but mine's not.

Leah: But literally this morning, I live on Hollywood Boulevard, corner of Hollywood Boulevard. This guy had his dog unleashed. We were coming up, we crossed—this is not even my vent, this is just an example. We crossed because my dog doesn't necessarily like other dogs. His dog ran at us and followed us—was gonna follow us across the streets. And now I'm responsible for your dog almost running in front of a car? So then I had to, like, step out, stop the car, and I was like, "My guy, your dog!"

Nick: Oh, you threw out a "My guy?"

Leah: I threw out a "My guy."

Nick: Wow!

Leah: Anyway, what I dislike intensely is when people whose dogs are unleashed want to let you know that it will be okay when their unleashed dog comes at your dog.

Nick: Yeah, what is that logic?

Leah: And then they'll often explain to you that if you were just, like, more relaxed and just let it go your dog who doesn't like large dogs because of a particular incident that your dog is scarred from and you are working through in classes, but need not explain this to every single stranger on the street.

Nick: You don't have the trauma dump on behalf of your dog.

Leah: I do not need to trauma dump, nor do I need to explain that it's not that I don't understand how dogs work. It's just get your dog away from my dog.

Nick: Yeah. No, it seems so simple when you put it this way.

Leah: I just don't understand what's going on out there.

Nick: Yeah. No, I mean, I think that mystery, if we could crack that, really, we could really unlock a lot of the universe.

Leah: If I just—nothing. Just buck it up. Take your dog.

Nick: Yeah. Don't make this my problem.

Leah: This is not my problem. That's exactly what it is. This is not me, this is you.

Nick: Yeah.

Leah: And it's not the dog. It's the owner.

Nick: Yeah. Oh, it always is. Yeah, of course. Well, speaking of other people, I would like to vent. And so it is very cold in New York City right now. I mean, so cold, so unusually cold. Like, 10 degrees is not an unusual temperature outside right now. Like, it's real cold. And that's not like the "feels like" temperature, that is the actual temperature. Now of course, inside my apartment, I still have not turned on my radiator, because it is still so hot in here. But I digress.

Nick: So I am outside in New York City in this frigid weather, and I need to grab a cab. And so I am hailing a cab. And so I, like all good New Yorkers, know how to do this. I get my hand out there, I point to the building across the street to the second floor. Like, that's like the right angle, I think. And I get it right out there, and I'm basically standing in the first lane of traffic. I mean, probably not safe but, like, hey, that's how you gotta do it. So, like, that's what I'm doing.

Nick: And so I'm hailing a cab. And this guy who is just standing on the sidewalk with his hands in his pocket yells at me—yells! "Hey, I'm also waiting for a cab." To which I say, "Oh, I didn't see you hailing." Now that is not the tone I used.

Leah: [laughs]

Nick: [laughs] But those are the words. And he said, "Oh. Well, there's nothing to hail." And I just—it took everything inside of me not to say something back. But I said nothing. And so we let him get the next cab. But let me just be clear how this works. Putting your hand out to get a car is not all about getting the car. It is to send the signal to your fellow citizens that you are trying to get a taxi. If he was hailing a taxi, I would know he's hailing a taxi, and then I would be respectful and get in line behind him. But how was I supposed to know, sir, with you standing on the sidewalk with your hands in your pocket? How was I supposed to know what you're doing? I don't know.

Leah: It's infuriating. He's like one of those people that turns, and as they turn, they put on their blinker.

Nick: Oh!

Leah: And you're the car behind them. Like, how was I supposed to know you were gonna slow down?

Nick: And I was trying to think, like, what is this personality type? Because he was a very specific type of person. And the best I could think of was he's the type of guy that uses a money clip. He doesn't use a wallet. When he pays for dinner, he pulls out a wad of bills and it's in a money clip. That guy, that's who we're dealing with.

Leah: Man, I love money clips.

Nick: [laughs] Well, maybe you're this guy.

Leah: No, I signal appropriately.

Nick: Yeah. So he was not—that's really—that's very astutely, Leah. He was not signaling. He did not have his turn signal on. The taxi equivalent of the turn signal.

Leah: Well, there's no way you could—no way you could have known.

Nick: There was no way I could have known!

Leah: And then he made it like it was your fault.

Nick: Yes. He crass-lit. This was classic crass-lighting.

Leah: Crass-lighting. [laughs]

Nick: The act of your bad etiquette and trying to make it sound like my fault.

Leah: Crass-lighter!

Nick: Total crass-lighting. And that is rude. Crass-lighting is rude.

Leah: So rude, Nick.

Nick: So that's my vent.

Leah: I'm sorry, Nick.

Nick: I know. My life. [laughs]

Nick: So Leah, what have we learned?

Leah: Well, I learned—I was gonna say Emily Blunt. I love her. Great actress. Emily Post wrote a book called Children Are People.

Nick: Children Are People.

Leah: Which I actually thought it was—that was a song on Free to Be You and Me, but okay.

Nick: I mean, maybe inspired by Emily Post.

Leah: [laughs] And I learned about the Icelandic sheep herding festival.

Leah: Réttir.

Nick: Love it! I mean, I want to attend if it's polite and appropriate.

Leah: September.

Nick: Mark your calendar.

Leah: I've always wanted to go to Iceland.

Nick: Oh, it's wonderful. We should go.

Leah: We should go!

Nick: Okay, well, we're gonna have our next live show in Reykjavik. How's that?

Leah: Don't even tease me.

Nick: I wonder, do we have Icelandic listeners?

Leah: Well, I hope so. And then they can correct my—well, they can A) give us a definitive of how people feel.

Nick: Yes.

Leah: I mean, it's also possible that people are divided.

Nick: Yeah, I don't know if there's one answer on that.

Leah: They can also help me with my pronunciation.

Nick: All right, yeah, send that Icelandic pronunciation Leah's way.

Leah: But know that I did try.

Nick: A for effort. Well, thank you, Leah.

Leah: Thank you, Nick.

Nick: And thanks to you out there for listening. I'd send you a handwritten note on my custom stationery if I could.

Leah: He would!

Nick: So for your homework this week, I want you to tell some friends about our show. But I want you to only tell friends that already listen to other podcasts. Don't try to convince people who don't listen to podcasts to start listening to the podcast. This is very hard. But if you have friends who already listen to other podcasts, they already get it. They already have the players. They know how it works. So it's those people. I want you to tell those people about our show.

Leah: I do love that it gets more specific. You're like, "You know what? I feel like some of you have been trying to convince people who don't even listen to podcasts."

Nick: It's very hard.

Leah: Stop doing that.

Nick: Right? Yeah. Don't waste your time. Just hone in on the people who already like podcasts and just add us to the mix. That's all. And we'll see you next time!

Leah: Bye!

Nick: Bye!

Nick: All right, Leah. It's time for Cordials of Kindness, the part of the show that you make us do, but I only give you 30 seconds to do it. Ready, set, go!

Leah: Well, I've got a big cordials of kindness to my neighbors in the apartment building. As you know, Nick, I've been on the East Coast for a couple of months now.

Nick: Yeah.

Leah: I just got back, and I just have the most amazing neighbors. My neighbor Aaron has been, like, getting our mail and making sure everything is safe. And then when I came back, everybody was like, "How are you doing?" And I just—it's such a lovely community of people looking out for each other, and I couldn't be more grateful.

Nick: How nice! And for me, I want to read a nice comment we got on a social media post. So as you may recall, Leah and I were recently on the Tamron Hall Show and we posted a bunch of videos and clips of us on the show recently. And one of our longtime listeners posted the following quote, "Do you ever get so proud of podcasters who you've been with since the beginning, and they seem like your kids and friends, and you take such pride for them in their accomplishments? Wow, you two are warm and funny, and a respite in the sea of craziness. Thank you."

Leah: It was such a lovely comment. It is such a lovely comment, but when I first read it, I was like, "What?"

Nick: Isn't that nice? Yeah.

Leah: So nice I melted.

Nick: I feel the same way about our long-term listeners, too, which is like, oh, you've been with us since the beginning. Like, you're OG.

Leah: We're family.

Nick: Love it. So thank you. This really warmed our heart.

Leah: Yeah. So lovely.