May 11, 2020

Using Knives on Salads, Holding Doors for Others, Tipping on Discounts, and More

Etiquette, manners, and beyond! In this bonus episode, Nick and Leah answer listener questions about holding doors open for others, liking your own social media posts, cutting salads with knives, getting colleagues to respect your desk space, tipping when there's a discount, and much more. Please subscribe! (We'd send you a hand-written thank you note if we had your address.)

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  • What is the appropriate time or distance to hold a door open for others?
  • Is it rude to like your own posts on social media?
  • Are you allowed to cut salad with a knife?
  • How do you get colleagues to respect your personal space?
  • Do you tip on the pre- or post-discount amount?
  • Vent: People who stop by your table to say hello at a restaurant




Hosts: Nick Leighton & Leah Bonnema

Producer & Editor: Nick Leighton

Theme Music: Rob Paravonian


[Musical Introduction]

Nick: Hey, everybody, this is Nick Leighton.

Leah: And I'm Leah Bonnema.

Nick: We're in New York today, and we had so many great questions from you guys in the wilderness-

Leah: Oh, amazing!

Nick: -that we have a bonus episode. So, our first question is: "My husband is the best at holding the door open for others, always making sure to be polite. It drives us both crazy when others simply let the door slam in your face. Our question is, what is the appropriate time, or distance to wait when holding the door? Sometimes, people seem too far away when it almost becomes awkward to hold the door, but we don't want to be rude either. What is the proper distance?"

Leah: Well, I love that they're door-holders.

Nick: You know, it's nice when people are polite.

Leah: I'm also a door-holder.

Nick: Are you?

Leah: Yeah.

Nick: I see that in you.

Leah: I just love to hold a door for people.

Nick: So, what is the right distance? How do we navigate this?

Leah: I'd say it'd be like a person and a half if they were lying down-

Nick: A person and a half. Okay. So, the average height of a man, or woman; human.

Leah: [Laughing]

Nick: So, I have been researching this since we got this question. I have been observing doors in New York City and seeing how long people are holding doors for; where it gets awkward. Most people are not holding doors, people.

Leah: Oh, come on!

Nick: I'm seeing a lot of not-door-holding happening, but when it is happening, it feels like four steps. Four steps feels like the right cadence because if it's any more, then, now, you're kind of making the person rush.

Leah: Right.

Nick: It's, "Oh, let me hold that door open." "Oh, thank you." Step, step, step, step, now I'm at the door.

Leah: That seems-

Nick: That feels right.

Leah: I really love your methods.

Nick: When it's five steps, it feels a little far. So, it's like, "Oh, let me hold that open for you." "Thank you." Step, step, step, step ... step. Just feels a little-

Leah: Yes, I often ... Yeah.

Nick: Just a ...

Leah: I'll hold for way back, and then I feel like they have to run.

Nick: Yeah.

Leah: But I want to be like, "You don't have to run."

Nick: Yeah.

Leah: But it's that I've seen them.

Nick: Well, so once you make eye contact, now you're in it.

Leah: Yep.

Nick: Doesn't matter how far they are.

Leah: So, I try to hold the door and look like I'm casual. There's no rush here.

Nick: Okay.

Leah: I try to ... "Have a comfortable walk to the door."

Nick: "No rush. I'm [crosstalk]"

Leah: -it's totally cool.

Nick: Yeah.

Leah: Because I don't want them to have to rush.

Nick: Yeah but making eye contact with somebody who's 50 feet away. You're in.

Leah: It's done. You're standing there.

Nick: Yep. Just stick around now. It's done. So, I think about 10 feet/four steps. That feels right. Yeah, I like that.

Leah: Also, if anybody is behind you, and they're holding a bunch of things-

Nick: Oh, yes. If they are carrying packages-

Leah: Pushing a stroller.

Nick: If they're in a wheelchair, crutches, walker, or if it feels like just holding the door might be an extra-nice gesture?

Leah: Yeah, just stand. Just hold the door.

Nick: Use your best judgment on that. In looking up this online, somebody did say that if you can see them in the reflection of the glass, assuming there's glass, then you should definitely hold it.

Leah: Yep.

Nick: If you can't see them, or if you can't hear their footsteps, then I think maybe they're far enough away where you can just enter. But other than that, I think it's nice to hold the door.

Leah: If it were like in walking ... If it's a bunch of people walking, and you can't quite hold the door for the person, they're too far back, and you haven't looked back, I'll always sort of make sure to kind of keep the door open as I'm- you know what I mean? Some people actually- it seems like they're actually shutting the door.

Nick: [Giggling]

Leah: Have you noticed this?

Nick: Yeah. Yeah.

Leah: You don't need to ... If you're not holding it, don't make-

Nick: Aggressively-

Leah: Don't aggressively try to be like, "I'm cutting off the access point."

Nick: Although, you're referring to sort of the shove of the door. So, I'm shoving the door open and then hoping you're going to catch it. I find that actually is a little awkward because I'm not going to catch that door. You made this sort of weird gesture that you wanted to like toss the door my way, like, "Oh, it's on you now." But that's not actually helpful.

Leah: Well, the fact is, is that I stand in the door, and I hold it.

Nick: Yeah. This never happens for you.

Leah: Yeah. I'm in eyesight. If I can see you, I'm holding it.

Nick: Okay. [Giggling] Our next question is: "Is it rude to like your own posts on social media?" Hmm. Is it rude?

Leah: I don't think it's rude.

Nick: Yeah, I don't know if that's an etiquette thing.

Leah: I think there's this ... I think this is newer, where people are being like, "I love me."

Nick: Well, I think that's been going on for a while.

Leah: I know. No, but I mean like being like, this is a cool ... "I love that, that I said that!" It's the new thing to be cool about me.

Nick: Yes.

Leah: I don't think it's rude or not rude. I think it's just sort of your personality.

Nick: Yeah, whatever style it is. I mean, I guess the real-world analog to this would be toasting yourself; like, "Let's raise a glass to me," and, "I'm great!" and, "Cheers, everybody, for me!" I guess that's sort of the equivalent. We all agree that we don't want to do that.

Leah: No, but if you're home alone, and you want to be like, "Good job, I'm proud of myself," and you want to [crosstalk]

Nick: You wanted to like that Instagram post?

Leah: -cheers yourself-

Nick: Uh-huh.

Leah: -or do a cheers to yourself-

Nick: Sure. Whatever.

Leah: -that seems like it would be the equivalent.

Nick: Oh ...

Leah: If you were toasting yourself - home, alone.

Nick: Well, but I mean, social media, you are in front of an audience of some sort.

Leah: I don't notice if people like their own posts.

Nick: I don't notice it at all. Does not hit my radar.

Leah: I don't think that ... I'm not a person who likes her own posts because I sort of was raised with the idea that you're not allowed to be like, "Go, me!" But I would like to be a person who likes their own posts.

Nick: Okay, so we're working on that?

Leah: Yeah.

Nick: So, you know what you're gonna do today? You're gonna like your own post.

Leah: I don't think I'm going to.

Nick: I think we're gonna- we're gonna do that.

Leah: I really can't.

Nick: I feel like we can. We can just, just double-tap the photo, and it's gonna make a little heart.

Leah: Then somebody'll see it, and I'll have to be like, "I did that by mistake."

Nick: [Giggling]

Leah: It seems weird to like my own post, but I don't have a problem when other people do it.

Nick: Yeah. I think if you want to do it, you have permission.

Leah: Yeah. I think whatever this letter-writer ... If you want to like your own post, and you feel like it's rude, I think it's not rude. Do it! Do whatever you want to do because you're not affecting other people. Whatever makes you feel good.

Nick: Yeah. Live your truth. Our next question is about salad. "My daughter and I were having lunch with my dad at the Blue Bayou Restaurant at Disneyland, and I ordered a luscious salad. When it came, there was an unmanageable strip of arugula, when I lifted it with my fork, which might have been in poor taste, but it's very dark in there. It was a full 12 inches. While I know one is never supposed to cut a salad, this was a very springy salad in a square bowl, and I would have looked like the Loch Ness monster trying to get that bite down. I tried it with my fork, but there was too much spring, so I ended up cutting it. I'm dying to hear what you think." Leah, what do you think?

Leah: What I think, up top, is that I love our letter-writers.

Nick: Yes. [Giggling]

Leah: The way that she writes-

Nick: A picture has been painted here.

Leah: Yes, and it's terrific.

Nick: Yes.

Leah: Loch Ness monster? Thank you!

Nick: Wonderful. So, I looked up the salad, and so, I believe she's referring to the Golden Beet Salad.

Leah: I love this about you.

Nick: What?

Leah: That you looked up the salad [crosstalk]

Nick: Oh, yeah. I went to the Blue Bayou menu, and I was like, okay, what are the arugula salads on the menu?

Leah: This is fantastic.

Nick: This contains arugula, goat cheese, sherry vin, strawberries, pickled red onions, and pistachio.

Leah: [Gasping] I love pickled red onions!

Nick: This actually sounds like a nice salad, and it's $12, which, for me, sounds very inexpensive.

Leah: That's because we live in New York.

Nick: Is that what it is?

Leah: We've been ruined.

Nick: We are ruined. Yeah, for me, a $12 salad actually felt like a bit of a bargain at Disneyland.

Leah: Because I think Disneyland is-

Nick: Expensive!

Leah: Disneyland is probably like being in New York.

Nick: Is that what it is? It's sort of- that's the currency exchange?

Leah: Yeah, we might as well live in Disneyland.

Nick: I mean, I'm not mad at that [crosstalk]

Leah: I would also like to live on Rise of the Resistance. I hear amazing things.

Nick: So, the first thing that caught my ear about this question was the phrase, "I know one is never supposed to cut a salad." Not true. It's not true. It's not a thing. I went back to the archive and I found this great quote from Emily Post: "All the rules of table manners are made to avoid ugliness; to let anyone see what you have in your mouth is repulsive; to make a noise is to suggest an animal; to make a mess is disgusting. On the other hand, there are a number of trifling decrees of etiquette that are merely finical, unreasonable, and silly. Why one should not cut one's salad in small pieces if one wants to, makes little sense, unless one wants to cut up a whole plateful and make the plate messy! Until stainless steel was invented, a steel knife was not permitted for salad or fruit, because it turns black; but silver-bladed knives have always been used for salads, as well as for fruits, in best-appointed houses." So, even back in 1922, when Emily Post was writing this-

Leah: Even in the best-appointed houses, they were cutting salads!

Nick: Right! So, cut that salad!

Leah: That's what I wrote in capital letters: "CUT THAT SALAD!"

Nick: Cut that salad. It's not a thing that you're not allowed to cut salad if you're using stainless steel, which chances are, you are. So, go for it. Go for it. But there are a lot of etiquette rules that are not rules, or maybe were rules, 250 years ago, which are no longer applicable.

Leah: To use Emily Post words: "Like an animal. Disgusting ..."

Nick: Uh-huh.

Leah: The things that I clearly ...

Nick: It resonates for you.

Leah: It resonates [crosstalk]

Nick: That's the "Don't do" part, just to clarify-

Leah: I know. I know. I wanted you to know that I'm in that house. I am not going to make a noise? Come on, now.

Nick: Uh-huh.

Leah: But it would be harder to ... If what we're worried about is coming across as undignified-

Nick: Correct.

Leah: -which I don't need silverware for people to know that I'm undignified. I think trying to get all of the arugula into your mouth in one go-

Nick: Challenging.

Leah: -is going to be much more challenging. It's just quick little cut. Boom-boom!

Nick: Yeah. Now, there are other places in the world - France in particular - where they don't really cut salad. If you did have an unwieldy piece of lettuce, what you would do is you would take your fork, and you probably do have a knife available, and you would use the knife as sort of a tool to create a little origami packet of salad. So, you're not cutting it, but you're folding the lettuce into a little square, a little packet, and then you pop the packet into your mouth. That's how you would sort of address a large lettuce in France.

Leah: [Laughing] You would address the large lettuce. The other option is to pick it up with your fingers and go, "Is this a boat?"

Nick: Uh-huh.

Leah: Then, fill it up with other boat items from the table-

Nick: Sure.

Leah: Then, just eat it like it's finger food.

Nick: You're welcome to do that if you're so inclined.

Leah: It is Disneyland.

Nick: Oh, we're back to Disneyland. We're not in France.

Leah: They want us to have fun.

Nick: I see. I mean, in Disneyland, I think ...

Leah: Obviously, don't listen to that advice. I'm just saying that I may or may have not done that once ...

Nick: Okay. Well ... That's a wild ride.

Leah: [Laughing]

Nick: Our next question is-

Leah: That's a Small World reference.

Nick: Isn't that a Mr. Toad's reference?

Leah: That's a Mr. Toad's reference.

Nick: Okay. So, who knows more about Disneyland?

Leah: [Singing] You do ...

Nick: Our next question is "Angry Office Worker." Oh, that's how I titled it. [Laughing] I think our person is probably not angry, but-

Leah: No! They're really tired of people treating their-

Nick: Okay, well, let's tell the people what the question is.

Leah: Okay.

Nick: Our question is: "I have worked at the same job as a receptionist at a busy medical office for almost 20 years. I cannot get many of the staff of about 40 people to respect my personal space. Staff members come up to my desk and start opening drawers, looking for a pen, or whatever. I'd never go into their desk drawers. So, I took everything out and filled it with personal feminine items. That stopped it for a while, but it starts up again after a few months. In addition to that, I have staff members coming up to ask a question or put a clipboard down too close to me. I think if you're standing on my plastic mat under my chair, you are too close. I've had to start telling staff, 'You're not allowed to step on my mat.' Sometimes, I loudly say, 'Bubble! You're in my bubble!' My daughter says, 'Mom, now they think you're the crazy lady at work.' What say you? Is this just my issue? Please do tell." Leah, is this just her issue?

Leah: No!

Nick: No.

Leah: I think that people are treating her desk like public space.

Nick: Yeah, that's happening.

Leah: Because they're misconstruing reception area, which it is not!

Nick: No, no.

Leah: The trick is finding a way to establish that boundary.

Nick: So, how do you feel about the unmentionables in the drawers?

Leah: I think it's hilarious.

Nick: Yeah, it's fun, but ...

Leah: I don't think it's going to work in the long run.

Nick: It clearly isn't.

Leah: So, an option could be can you set up some kind of a desk ... You know how some desks have that arm that comes out, so you can sort of ..." They actually can't physically get in from the side.

Nick: Okay, so we want to create a barrier.

Leah: Is there some way to create a barrier?

Nick: A blockade.

Leah: Perhaps a large plant?

Nick: Oh, okay! Shrubbery.

Leah: You know what I mean? So, it's sort of-

Nick: A hedgerow.

Leah: Yeah, and then people have to ask you. Then they'll sort of start understanding, this is the process of which we get things. We ask-

Nick: Hm.

Leah: Instead of stepping in and taking.

Nick: Okay. I guess the broader therapy response would be you have to teach people how you want to be treated.

Leah: Yes.

Nick: So, we need to teach people how to interact with you in a respectful manner at the office.

Leah: It seems, though, that she's tried ...

Nick: I like the idea of a barrier. I guess a stanchion of some sort or a little rope.

Leah: Yeah.

Nick: Sort of a mild edge, I think, is nice. Then, I think you do need just to constantly remind people about the procedure of how we interrupt my day, and how we ask for things, and what I can do for you, and what I don't do for you.

Leah: Yeah, I think you can just have a standard response that you've worked ... Sometimes, when I'm in things that I am not- that make me uncomfortable, or I'm trying to set up, I sort of work on it, so I have it ready because it makes me anxious [crosstalk] because I want to be polite, but I'm also trying to set a boundary. So, maybe something like, "Oh, come around to the front of the desk, and I'll help you," so you have it ready for whenever it happens. Because I think what's happening is people are coming around the side; they're going in ... You're just letting them know because I bet a lot of these people think that they're being less annoying by doing it themselves.

Nick: Oh, "Oh, I don't wanna bother her ..."

Leah: Yeah, "I'll just reach in ...," but what they don't realize is that it's more bothersome.

Nick: Now, I don't know what the geography is here. There may not be a front of the desk.

Leah: There has to be a version of the desk.

Nick: Well, if there is a desk, and it could be up against a wall, so you only approach from behind, and now, there's a plastic mat that my rolly-chair is on. So, the only way you get to me is from behind me.

Leah: I don't think so. If you're a receptionist, you're at the front.

Nick: Well ... Uh, regardless-

Leah: Regardless, whatever-

Nick: [Giggling]

Leah: Depending on your location.

Nick: Yes. However this is going down.

Leah: How about, "If you just want to step right here, I can get you what you need."

Nick: Right. I guess we need to have management send out an email, maybe periodically, reminding people what the rules of engagement are; like, "Here is what this person does for you. This is how to get it. This is where these supplies are located," et cetera.

Leah: Yes.

Nick: This may need to go out monthly. Maybe there should be a monthly email newsletter of just office news. "It's Lisa's birthday, so there'll be cupcakes on Friday. As a reminder, here's how to get clipboards and pens. They're not in the drawer. Stay off the mat, people!"

Leah: I think with the clipboard, she's saying that people come in and just put their stuff on her desk.

Nick: Oh. Yeah, for that you need pigeon spikes.

Leah: [Laughing]

Nick: I think that's what you need. But I think that maybe a monthly newsletter, where it's news - office news, office policies, office reminders - and it's just like a, "Friendly reminder, don't put clipboards on my desk."

Leah: Also, if you're not ready to do a full monthly- management could send out one email, "As a reminder, the reception area is a desk. She's happy to help you with whatever. Please treat it as ..."

Nick: Yeah, I guess, as needed, you could send this [crosstalk] reminder.

Leah: -but I think you could try first with a plant, or setting up some kind of a-

Nick: Bear trap.

Leah: -then, having a line that you say to people, "Ooh, if you just step to the side, I'm happy to help you with anything."

Nick: What do you think about the little foot-shaped things, like in a dance studio, or the DMV, where it tells you where to stand?

Leah: You could try those, as well.

Nick: Right? Like, "Oh, stand there," and then it's like little foot outlines.

Leah: Yes.

Nick: Yeah, I think that's an idea.

Leah: Yeah!

Nick: Okay. Our next question is: "I was having a facial that was originally priced at $100. When I went to pay, they told me that they were doing a 30-percent promotion, and the total was only $70. When I went to leave gratuity, I was unsure. Do you tip off the original mount or the discounted amount? Inquiring minds want to know!" Leah, what do you do? Why are you looking at me, Leah?

Leah: Because why is it always so hard with tipping?

Nick: This is not hard!

Leah: I guess you tip on the original amount.

Nick: Yes! Definitively. Yes! Here's the logic behind it - the service you have received is the full service. You got the whole facial. The facial was not discounted, just the price of it.

Leah: You know what? I wasn't thinking the answer was hard for this question. I immediately went three questions away. With this, tip on the original.

Nick: Yes!

Leah: But then, I often think about how when Lyft gives me 20 percent of my ride, or $2 off ... Then, I think, am I tipping on what it originally was? Then, I think tipping isn't the same on Lyft. That's where my brain went.

Nick: Okay, the principle is the same, that your drive was the same. You were not left 70 percent of the way.

Leah: Oh, I know, but I think-

Nick: They didn't drop you off early. So, you made it to your destination. You received 100 percent of the service from the driver, so you should tip on the 100 percent of the service that you received.

Leah: I also think I'm the only person tipping on Lyft.

Nick: Tipping on Lyft is a separate etiquette question that we will tackle in a separate episode.

Leah: That's why I was hesitant because I had already gone to another set of anxiety in tipping. On this question, I would say definitely tip on the original.

Nick: Def. The same principle applies in a restaurant. If you get a senior discount, you're using Groupon, you tip on the original amount because the server has given you a 100 percent of the service. The coupon is coming from management. That's different.

Leah: Not if ... If you got a discount; it's not if you're ordering from the senior menu.

Nick: If there is a ... Is there a senior menu?

Leah: Yeah.

Nick: Like, here's a menu of different items with different prices?

Leah: Yeah.

Nick: Oh, I guess I've never been given one of these things [crosstalk] It's not just like, "Oh, here's our normal menu. We just give you 10 percent off at the end ..."?

Leah: No.

Nick: What is on the senior menu?

Leah: There'll be a thing where it'll be like "Senior Citizens Special" on the back page.

Nick: Oh, so equivalent to a kid's menu.

Leah: Yep.

Nick: Okay. I was unaware of this. I don't think I'm going to-

Leah: So, you're tipping on that price.

Nick: You're tipping on the full amount, then.

Leah: You're tipping on the price that's on the menu.

Nick: Yes.

Leah: Yes.

Nick: Because it is ... Uh, okay. Ohhhh! This is a weird loophole. Yeah, are you tipping on the full amount? I mean, I guess it is the full stated amount.

Leah: Yeah.

Nick: Yeah. Although it is already discounted, and for what?

Leah: No, you're tipping on whatever the amount was.

Nick: I guess if it's the published price.

Leah: Yeah.

Nick: Then, okay ... Although, I'm- my brain is having trouble wrapping around that because how is that different than it's a regular menu, and I'm a senior, and I'm getting a 10-percent discount? Because, in that instance, I am going to tip on the full pre-discount amount.

Leah: I think with the senior menu, they're assuming you're retired.

Nick: No, I know why we give senior discounts-

Leah: Right, so-

Nick: -but the issue is-

Leah: What if you don't have that extra money? Then, you don't have that extra money.

Nick: No, but if you don't have extra money, you're not allowed to not tip.

Leah: Yeah, I know, but you can tip on what it costs on the menu.

Nick: Right, but I guess the principle here is when you order a $10 salad - for easy math here - and I'm going to tip $2 on the salad, okay, fine. If you are a restaurant, and you're giving me a 10-percent discount, now the salad is only $9, I'm still gonna tip you $2.

Leah: I don't think people do that. I think they have a separate menu.

Nick: So, I guess if the menu is totally separate, and I guess the food value has been discounted, so it's not the same stuff, just a different price-

Leah: That's just what you're ordering from.

Nick: Okay. Forgive me, audience, for helping me walk through this. Does anybody else have this problem? Does anybody else? Is it just me?

Leah: It's also like people go from 3:00 to 5:00, and that's a special, and you're tipping on that special for that time.

Nick: Okay, so is a Happy Hour special different? Okay ...

Leah: I could get chicken wings during Happy Hour. I'm gonna tip them on what they cost me during the Happy Hour.

Nick: That's true. You would do that.

Leah: I'm not gonna tip on what it would cost at 7:00.

Nick: That's true.

Leah: That's why I went.

Nick: Yeah, that's true. So, why is it different? Because it just is. Etiquette doesn't always make sense [Laughing] Yeah. Okay. Well, I have to spend more time contemplating this. I was not prepared for this conversation. So, in general, yes, you should tip on the pre-discounted service, if it's a on-the-spot discount, and it's a discount that was unexpected and not part of the normal routine.

Leah: Yeah.

Nick: Maybe that's what it is.

Leah: That sounds great.

Nick: Okay, so sorry, everybody. Our next question is ...

Leah: Oh, this is not a question.

Nick: This is a vent!

Leah: Which I think is going to lead to a lovely dialogue.

Nick: [Laughing] So, "When you're out to a private dinner and see someone you know, and after the initial obligatory hellos, they're sitting close enough that they won't stop interjecting and trying to make conversation throughout the duration of the entire meal. Check, please!" I've had this happen.

Leah: Oh, I think this happens a lot.

Nick: This is terrible.

Leah: Or people that just see you and then, they stand there.

Nick: Yeah [crosstalk] and the worst - I've had this happen - the other person I'm dining with says, "Oh, do you wanna join?" No! Where am I in this? No, I did not sign off on that. No! Do not pull up a chair! Un-uh ...! Yeah, and then, now it's done.

Leah: Yeah, it's done. I feel this person. Absolutely great vent!

Nick: Yeah, and I wonder if this happens more in New York because our tables are closer?

Leah: I don't know, because I feel like we do have less space, so, if somebody's seat's near you, they can; but then, outside of New York, if you're in a smaller ... There's a much higher percentage of chance that you're gonna know people-

Nick: Of running into somebody. True.

Leah: So, I think it happens other places for different reasons.

Nick: Yeah. No, I think this is a good vent, yeah. I guess the thing to do after you say your hellos is, "So nice seeing you."

Leah: Yeah.

Nick: Keep it moving. Yeah. If you are seated next to someone - because sometimes this happens, like you run into somebody and then, actually, they end up at the next table - you pretend they're not there. You are not listening to their conversation. You're not interjecting. You do not participate at all.

Leah: Oh, so awkward!

Nick: I mean, maybe at the end, you can lean in and be like, "Oh, that dessert looks good. We should get that." I guess I'll give you that, you know, a little lean in, but other than that, un-uh!

Leah: This has never happened to me.

Nick: This has never happened to you?!

Leah: Not that I've been seated next to somebody. I've been at a restaurant where somebody comes, and they stand there. They'll be like, "Oh ...," and then, they just continue to be ... But I've never been seated near someone.

Nick: I've had that happen. But yeah, I think the hellos need to be very brief, and if we're eating?! No!

Leah: Also, somebody could be at a business lunch, and they're trying to get stuff done.

Nick: Or it's an illicit affair.

Leah: Yeah.

Nick: You don't know why they're dining!

Leah: You don't know what's happening!

Nick: Mm! Yeah, you just want to say hello, or even a wave. I mean, I'm happy with a wave as you're walking.

Leah: Yeah.

Nick: I do not need you to say hello. Totally fine with that. So, good vent! Great vent!

Leah: Great one!

Nick: So, you, out there, do you have any vents for us? Or repents? We'll take your repent!

Leah: Although, if I'm the person coming in - really quickly - why I wouldn't wave - I wouldn't want to be rude, so that person was like, "Did they see me? Are they ignoring me?" So, I'll do an exaggerated, "Hi! I'm gonna let you guys have your space. Just wanted to say hi!"

Nick: That's great.

Leah: Then, I'll just ...

Nick: Yeah, I like ... It's sort of a dip at the table, and you kind of reach your hand out, like, "Hey, I just wanted to say hi. Nice to see you."

Leah: Yeah. "Let you have your space." Boom.

Nick: I don't even need the introduction to the other people at the table.

Leah: No, no, no, no.

Nick: Don't need that. Just, "Hi, nice seeing you ...! Nice eye contact, wave, but not like, "Hi, I'm Nick. Oh, nice meeting you, and you are?" No! Do not want that. Definitely don't want handshakes. No. Un-uhm!

Leah: I just don't wanna be the person walking by and come off rude because I was trying to give you space. That's why I always say hello.

Nick: Sure. A quick hello, but the operative word - quick.

Leah: Keep it moving.

Nick: Okay. So, keep it moving with your questions, people! Send them in!

Leah: I also love that- we love the vents!

Nick: We love a good vent, especially when they're relatable. So-

Leah: Even when they're not relatable.

Nick: Actually, when they're not relatable, they're even better. So, whatever you've got, send them our way. Send them to us through our website,, or you can text us - (267) CALL-RBW (267-225-5729) You can slip into our DMs. If you know me personally, you can just let me know at the mailboxes. This is happening now. So, my home is no longer a safe space!

Leah: [Giggling]

Nick: We'll see you next time.

Leah: Bye!

Nick: Bye!

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