Selling Soap to Wedding Guests, Eating Wine Corks, Tipping Hospital Valets, and More

Nick: Hey, everybody. It's Nick Leighton.

Leah: And it's Leah Bonnema.

Nick: And we had so many great questions from you all in the wilderness ...

Leah: [howls]

Nick: ... that we have a bonus episode. So here we go. Our first question is quote, "I was at a wedding recently. It was outdoors and fairly casual. When we arrived, we were asked to complete an envelope with our name and address, I'm assuming, for thank-you notes. Is this a common practice now? Also, at the reception, the bride had for sale a table full of the goat milk soap she makes. Am I wrong thinking this was a bit tacky? Also, the bars were $4 more expensive than other goat milk bars I've seen at farmer's markets."

Leah: You're kidding.

Nick: [laughs]

Leah: Goat pun! Goat pun! Goat pun!

Nick: Um, wow.

Leah: I hope somebody said that to her. "You're kidding." And then you go, "Because kids are baby goats." Come on!

Nick: I mean, that's pretty good. I'll give that to you. Yeah.

Leah: Thank you.

Nick: Yeah. All right, well, let's just talk about the envelopes first, shall we?

Leah: For me, the envelopes pale in comparison to the second part.

Nick: Yeah, that's why I just want to start with that. Because there's more to say about the soap. Yeah, the envelopes, I am assuming it is for thank-you notes. I am assuming that's what that is. And it's not just like, "Oh, please put cold, hard cash in this for us."

Leah: No, because then why would you put your address?

Nick: Oh, right. Okay. Yeah. No, good point. Okay, yeah, yeah. So this is for thank-you notes.

Leah: "Put the cash in, and we're gonna mail it back to you."

Nick: Yeah. No, that's definitely not happening at this wedding. Now what I find actually funny about this is that for me, when I'm writing thank-you notes, writing the envelope is, like, not the burden. That is actually not the time-consuming thing for me. I don't actually find that to be problematic or difficult or, like, the bulk of the time and effort. So the idea, like, oh, we're taking a shortcut there, like, to my mind, like, that doesn't really compute.

Leah: Well, my first thought was, oh, maybe they wanna make sure they have everybody's address. But obviously they did. They sent out the invitation.

Nick: Yes. Or if you really want people's addresses, let's have a book which is like, "Please sign in and make sure we have your current address." The act of actually, like, addressing the envelope? It's kind of like when you're at the dentist and they give you a postcard to fill out. Does your dentist do this?

Leah: No, but I have been in places where that happens.

Nick: Yeah. I mean, my dentist—I guess it's still 1985. And they give you a postcard, and you fill it out with your address and then they mail it to you, like, a month before your appointment. And so you get your postcard. And so this is what this feels like. And so if I get a letter in the mail and, like, it's in my handwriting? I don't know, I don't love this.

Leah: I really like the idea of what you said, that they could just have a sign-in book and say, "Please sign in and have your most updated address."

Nick: Or how many people do you not have addresses for, right? Because, like, you did send invitations. Unless you sent all these wedding invitations via text.

Leah: Or maybe they did an email.

Nick: Right. But then the question is like, oh, now you want to send handwritten thank-you notes?

Leah: Well, Nick, wouldn't you be happy if you got the handwritten thank-you note?

Nick: Yeah. Oh, no, given the choice, yes, I would like to have the handwritten thank-you note, I guess, even if the envelope is in my own handwriting. Okay, sure.

Leah: But I mean, I really don't mind the idea of writing my address in a book.

Nick: Yes. I think that does achieve the same result. Like, you're getting the addresses.

Leah: I mean, I think for them, the address, they feel like they're cutting down on time.

Nick: Yes. Oh, no, they're cutting corners. But the whole point of the handwritten thank-you note is that you're not cutting corners. Because yes, you could send a form letter, you could send a text, you could do all the things that cut the corners, but the fact that you didn't cut corners, so you put pen to paper, that act, that is part of the thoughtfulness which is inherent to the thank-you note. And so when you start cutting corners ...

Leah: No, I'm just saying that because you said I achieved the same effect, where that's not the effect that they want.

Nick: Right. Well then, you know, you might as well just, like, have a form letter and you fill out the gift that you gave. "Dear [insert your name here]. Thank you so much for the [write the name of the gift you just gave us here]." Like, you could do that.

Leah: I imagine these people, if they knew that was a possibility, they would have been like, "Oh, you know what? We should have had them also write down what they gave us on this."

Nick: Yes. And then also, like, bring your own stamps, please.

Leah: [laughs]

Nick: So where does it end? So I guess the question is: Is this common practice? It is more common than I would like. It does happen. This is not the first I've heard of this. I don't think I've personally witnessed it.

Leah: I've never witnessed it.

Nick: It is something I am aware exists in this world. And it should not, but it happens. But just because something happens doesn't mean it's right. So don't do it.

Leah: I'm being Nick right now. I don't love this.

Nick: No. I do not care for this. Now let's talk about the soap.

Leah: Oh, let's talk about the soap!

Nick: [laughs]

Leah: No. I'm just gonna say no!

Nick: Okay. And why? Why should you not be selling soap at your wedding, Leah?

Leah: I mean, you should be giving it as a gift to the people that came.

Nick: I mean, if anything, yes, this would be a favor. Right. Instead of Jordan almonds, give me some goat milk soap.

Leah: Because then it's personal. It's something you made. You're being like, "Hey, while you're here, also buy my merch."

Nick: Yeah. We are definitely turning this into a bit of a fundraiser.

Leah: Yeah. It's like, "Help us make money back on this wedding, even though you traveled here and you had to buy clothes for this and ..."

Nick: "And you brought us a gift."

Leah: "And then now if you could also buy soap that's $4 more than the going price of handmade soap." So I'm assuming it's probably around 12 bucks?

Nick: Above retail. Yes.

Leah: Above retail at your wedding!

Nick: Yeah, that's an interesting detail.

Leah: Just how odd .

Nick: It is a bit tacky, yes. So yeah, don't do that.

Leah: Don't do that.

Nick: Yeah. And I think there is an instinct out there to try to break even on a wedding. I think a lot of people who are throwing weddings do try to come up with strategies to try and break even on it. And it's like, that's not possible. A wedding is not a fundraiser. You will not break even.

Leah: And it's also, like, stay in your budget if you can't—if you don't want to make your guests pay for your wedding.

Nick: Right. And also, guests are guests. They're not customers.

Leah: Like, I've been to lovely weddings in a backyard.

Nick: Yeah. Oh. I think the best weddings are the ones that are actually, like, the most casual and relaxed. Yes.

Leah: And I mean, I love goats. So if I'm like, "Hey ..."

Nick: If Leah's not buying her soap, then you know.

Leah: You know!

Nick: Also, I've never had goat milk soap. Is that a soap I want?

Leah: Have you not even seen it?

Nick: I mean, where—where am I going where I'm seeing this?

Leah: A farmer's market?

Nick: How many farmer's markets are happening in Manhattan?

Leah: A lot!

Nick: Actually, that's true. That's true. [laughs]

Leah: There's that huge one right in Union Square.

Nick: Yeah, that's true. Although I'm usually just, like, walking through quickly and trying to, like, push through crowds. I'm not necessarily stopping to, like, "Oh, what milk is being used for this bar soap?" So sorry, letter-writer. Yes, this is tacky. I don't think you're obligated to buy the soap. I feel like you are welcome to not. I think you can pass like any customer would.

Leah: Absolutely. I wish our letter-writer could see the face Nick is making. One side of his lip is coming up.

Nick: Yeah, I'm making the face if the goat milk had spoiled.

Leah: [laughs] Yes, yes, yes, yes.

Nick: If it was curdled, if it was left out in the sun for too long.

Leah: Eww! Yes, that is the face.

Nick: That is the face. So our next question is quote, "What is the etiquette for eating your wine cork? We were recently dining at an upscale restaurant, and with the help of a sommelier, picked a lovely red wine to accompany our meal. Once the wine was uncorked, the sommelier asked if we would like to eat the cork. At first, we thought he must be joking, but he maintained a serious and interested expression. When I replied that we would not be eating the cork, he nodded and placed it on a side plate. A few minutes later, a member of the waitstaff asked again if we would be eating it, and when I replied in the negative, he whisked it away. Is this a thing? If I'd wanted to eat the cork, how would I have done so? A knife and fork? Special utensils? I would really like to know the correct procedure in case I ever eat at this establishment again.

Leah: I tell you, I had to google it.

Nick: [laughs] Okay. Me, too.

Leah: [laughs]

Nick: And I would say I think this is the first question we've ever gotten where I was like, "I wonder if this is real?" Because we've gotten thousands and thousands of questions, and a lot of them are, like, completely bonkers and unhinged, but they're all real.

Leah: Yes.

Nick: I mean, these things are really happening to people in the world. People are really touching strangers' toes in airports. People are really asking to take cake before the happy birthday song is sung. Like, these things are happening. This, though, I was like, "Is this happening?"

Leah: I know. I go, "What?" I also was like, was this waiter playing a joke?

Nick: But then we have a sommelier and a waiter together in on it?

Leah: Yes. I was like, what? I was like, were you on a prank show? But then I googled it.

Nick: So what did you discover?

Leah: Well, first off, I got a lot of hits for what to eat in Cork.

Nick: [laughs] Okay. Cork, Ireland. Okay.

Leah: Yeah. I got that cork is made out of oak.

Nick: Yeah. Yeah, that makes sense. Yeah. No, eating the wine cork is not a thing. It's just not a thing.

Leah: So why are they doing it?

Nick: I guess, like, the best explanation is like, they thought they were being funny?

Leah: I don't think they thought they were being funny. I think somebody's doing it.

Nick: You think somebody out in the world is eating corks like this?

Leah: Yes.

Nick: And all of the diners in this restaurant are eating corks.

Leah: No. I think everybody's like, "No, thank you."

Nick: Okay. Yeah, I mean, it is odd. Unless they're sort of being malicious about it and, like, they wanted to make fun of these diners and thought they could, like, trick them.

Leah: No. Why would they do that?

Nick: Yeah. Unless there is a tradition of cork eating that I'm just completely unfamiliar with, that I didn't know about, I still don't know about, it didn't come up when I looked into this. So maybe there's some very small village somewhere that has a cork-eating tradition. But no, it's not a thing. But let's talk about what you do do with the cork at a restaurant.

Leah: Okay?

Nick: Which is they may hand it to you to inspect. And what you're looking for is like, oh, you know, has anything gone bad with the wine? Because that can show up in the cork. So you can smell the cork. And sometimes if it's actually like a sentimental bottle or it's, like, some special occasion, you might want to save the cork. Like, oh, this was the cork we had at our anniversary. Or this bottle of wine, you know, was purchased, you know, a thousand years ago, and so we want to save that to remember this evening. So you're welcome to save the cork. Other than that yeah, you're just not gonna eat it.

Leah: I think it'd be funny to go, "You know, I'd love to take it home, put it in my smoothie."

Nick: "Oh, can I get a doggy bag?"

Leah: "Can I get a doggy bag for my cork?"

Nick: So yeah, I mean, totally bizarre. I feel like I would like to know more about this restaurant and call them.

Leah: I know. I wanted—I wanted to say, "Could you please give us the information on what restaurant this is?"

Nick: Yeah. I would like to call the sommelier and be like, "Hey, was there a misunderstanding among everybody in this restaurant about what you're supposed to do with corks?"

Leah: I think that's what we're gonna have to do.

Nick: So, letter-writer, would you just let us know? I'm gonna actually write this person back. I'm gonna be like, "Please just tell us what restaurant this was."

Leah: Yeah. And let Nick call.

Nick: I'm gonna call. All right, so look forward to the aftermath on that one.

Leah: How odd! I mean, imagine eating a cork.

Nick: I mean, it can't be very tasty.

Leah: No. Why would you want to do that?

Nick: And you're just, like, gnawing through it.

Leah: Chewing and swallowing.

Nick: And I guess it's a knife and fork thing, right? What's the right utensil?

Leah: No, I would—I would ...

Nick: Or do we need tongs? Do you need asparagus tongs?

Leah: No, I think I would just take a bite off of it.

Nick: Oh, you think it's finger food?

Leah: I think it's finger food.

Nick: Oh! Oh, isn't that a good question?

Leah: I would probably dip it in my wine, and then ...

Nick: Oh, you would dip it in wine? Oh, do you think it's like a—like an after-dinner sort of thing? So, like, instead of, like, biscotti and, like, Vin Santo, we're, like, dipping cork in wine?

Leah: That might be the nicest time to have it.

Nick: I feel like—yeah, because it's not an aperitivo type of thing. I'm not ...

Leah: No, it is not.

Nick: I'm not beginning my meal with cork.

Leah: Also, if you're gonna choke, it would be nice if you've already eaten.

Nick: Would it be nice to choke? Is that the time I want to be choking on cork?

Leah: I don't want to miss out on the whole meal, you know?

Nick: Oh, that's true. Yeah. If I have to go, I want to make sure I'm well fed.

Leah: I've eaten well.

Nick: Okay, that's fair. Yeah. Yeah, when is the right time to eat cork? Yeah, I think it's after dinner, but before coffee.

Leah: Is there floss? Are they also giving me floss?

Nick: I don't think you need floss for cork. You're not gonna get pieces of cork in between your teeth, are you?

Leah: I'm gonna get it stuck in my fake tooth, for sure.

Nick: You think?

Leah: Yeah.

Nick: Cork? I feel like it's, like, so chunky.

Leah: Nick, you could be eating something and it would get stuck in my fake tooth.

Nick: [laughs] Okay. Okay, so yeah, I feel like cork comes out after the petit fours, maybe.

Leah: I think that's what we say. "I like to have it after the petit fours. Thank you."

Nick: Okay. Yeah, and I feel like I would want it with, like, some Montenegro. I guess it depends, is it red or white? Yeah, what type of wine was it, and then we decide how it pairs.

Leah: I have to imagine it's red, because we're not eating white wine corks.

Nick: How is that a distinction for you?

Leah: I just feel like a red wine cork is—it just makes more sense to me.

Nick: What about like a champagne cork?

Leah: No, those are harder.

Nick: Oh, okay.

Leah: They're much more pressurized. [laughs]

Nick: [laughs] All right, moving on. So our next question is quote, "I've never been to any kind of Broadway show or theatrical production, but a friend of mine is in a production of Dracula: Comedy of Terrors at a local theater company. He's invited me to come see him in the show next week. I am very excited. I know I've seen in movies and shows that you can bring flowers—usually roses, I believe—to give them at the end of the show when they're taking their final bow. And I was wondering what is the etiquette for this? Do I bring them and have them in my lap during the show? I'm in the front row at the end. Do I walk up to the middle of the stage to hand them to him when they're doing their bows, or do I wait until after they've finished and hand them to him after he's out of costume and getting ready to leave?"

Leah: This sounds like a really fun show.

Nick: Yeah. I don't think I'm familiar with Dracula: Comedy of Terrors.

Leah: It sounds amazing. And congratulations to your friend.

Nick: Yes. Break a leg!

Leah: I always like to wait 'til after the show.

Nick: Yes. I'm inclined to wait, because I feel like curtain calls, they're still in it.

Leah: Yes.

Nick: And I don't want to take them out of it.

Leah: Yes. I mean, that's exactly it.

Nick: Right? Now I guess if there's a curtain call, and you're in the front row and he's right there and you could just, like, hand it to him, and they're, like, clearly done with all of the bowing that's about to be done, they're just about to leave the stage? I guess you could do it then, but I think yeah, waiting 'til afterwards is better.

Leah: I think if you have the option, if you know you're seeing them afterwards, they're coming out, give it to them then.

Nick: Yeah, I think that's the move. And I think we want to make sure that the flowers are not like a Kentucky Derby-sized, enormous wreath thing.

Leah: Yeah, we don't want it to block other people's views.

Nick: Yes. And I think as you're holding the flowers during the show, I do not want to hear the cellophane. It's very important that I do not hear the cellophane from these flowers during the show.

Leah: I think just have them on your lap nicely. And then ...

Nick: Oh, I'm gonna hear the cellophane.

Leah: Where do you want them then? On the floor?

Nick: I don't know, but I just don't wanna hear the cellophane. Maybe let's not put it in cellophane.

Leah: Okay.

Nick: Right? Because if you move a millimeter, I'm gonna hear the cellophane.

Leah: Okay.

Nick: Okay. So no cellophane.

Leah: So don't sit anywhere near Nick, is what I'm saying.

Nick: I mean, also that. Yes.

Leah: Also very lovely you're supporting your friend.

Nick: Yes. Another idea I had was there is a world in which you could give it to an usher or somebody affiliated with the theater to take the flowers backstage for you so that they're backstage as soon as they get off stage. So even if you're gonna see them afterwards, like, oh, the flowers are already there for them. Like, that could be an idea.

Leah: Could be an idea. My favorite is still giving it to them afterwards.

Nick: Yeah, that's the best. Because then as you hand the flowers over, you can say, "That was a great show. You did so great. Compliment, compliment, compliment."

Leah: "Congratulations."

Nick: "Congratulations."

Leah: Also, they're—they're now in their framework to see it. They've gone back to their place, they've, like, recombobulated, they've taken off whatever. They're switching back into their clothes. They're coming out. Now they're ready.

Nick: Yeah. Okay, so this is the timing. Let's do that.

Leah: Let's do that.

Nick: Okay. So our next question is quote, "My husband is doing a procedure at the hospital, and I'm wondering if I have to tip when I drop the car off in valet parking and when I pick it up, or just one or the other. Any advice?"

Leah: This is a great question, because I recently had this happen.

Nick: Okay.

Leah: It was a valet for a procedure. And I drove up and the valet was—it was very funny. The valet was, like, having a day. And he goes, "Can you just park it yourself?"

Nick: [laughs] Okay.

Leah: And I was like, "Sure." And so then he, like, pulled the thing and I just drove up. And I go, "Where?" And he's like, "Can you just pull up on the curb?" And I go, "Okay." So—which apparently I was not supposed to be doing, because when I got down to the surgical area, they were like, "Can you give this your valet and we'll call, so when she comes out, we're, like, ready?" And I go, "Oh, they had me park it myself." And they go, "What?" And I go, "Yeah, I'm parked on the curb." So anyway, that valet was having personal issues. But I was like, would I tip? And ...

Nick: Well, not in that circumstance when you're parking your own car.

Leah: No, not in that. I meant had that not happened. And the general consensus I got from people was no.

Nick: Yes. I think it's a little tricky because this is medical.

Leah: It's medical.

Nick: But in general, yes, we do tip when there's a valet happening. And now it's medical, and it's like, oh, golly, do you? And I think actually a lot of places where it is a medical valet, there is a no tipping sort of like sign or policy, because they don't want people to not use the valet because they want—like, please use the valet because you are a patient here. And like, we don't want you having to, like, walk far to your car or drive or something like that. Like, we—medically, it actually is just safer for everybody. Like just drop off your car. And so I feel like that is probably often the case that actually there is a no tipping policy.

Leah: I just don't think we're tipping at medical procedures.

Nick: Yes. But I mean, is it a medical procedure? It's medical adjacent.

Leah: We don't know what it is.

Nick: No. The valet itself, the act of valeting, this is not medical.

Leah: I had no option.

Nick: Oh!

Leah: It's like, I can't not valet my car, because they want your car pulled up when you leave.

Nick: Right. So yeah, for that I feel like yes, there shouldn't be a fee to valet. Valeting is just part of the service.

Leah: If you have an option to valet, then maybe it's a different story. But when they are like, "No, it's valet parking. This is your only choice." And it's medical?

Nick: Right.

Leah: I mean, I feel like if you want to throw somebody a couple bucks, but I don't think it's expected.

Nick: Yeah.

Leah: Because I would also hope that people valeting medical cars are getting, like, more per hour because they're associated with the medical, as opposed to people that are working for tips.

Nick: Yes.

Leah: I will say there is—Los Angeles is only the only place that I've had this happen to me where I go to places, and the only option at a medical facility is pay to park.

Nick: Yeah.

Leah: And so in which case I would also assume that you're tipping the valet.

Nick: Yes. I guess if there's a fee to park, then yeah, I think you would tip the valet in that. Yeah, because there's already a commercial transaction happening.

Leah: Yes. But if you're, like, at a hospital where for the surgery you come in this door and it's a valet, and that's what they tell you. I think that's not tipping.

Nick: Yes. I guess that's more tipping optional, then.

Leah: Yeah.

Nick: Okay. All right. I feel like this is a little dicey and controversial. I feel like we're gonna hear from people, which is like, you should tip always under every circumstance. And so I understand that instinct in the United States. So I could see a world in which it's like, if you can tip, go for it. But ...

Leah: I mean, I'm tipping on both ends of a valet, so I'm not the right—I'm just saying I just valeted my car, and the person who took my car also got me a cart for my luggage. I'm tipping.

Nick: Yeah.

Leah: And then when they picked up my car for me, it was a different person. So I'm tipping.

Nick: Yeah.

Leah: Also with, like, medical stuff, you're anxious. There's so much going on. How often do you just have a couple bucks of cash? You know what I mean? That's why I think it's not—if the only option they give you is to drop off your car that way and you didn't tip, I wouldn't worry about it.

Nick: Yeah, that's true. Yeah, the medical environment is not conducive to, like, planning ahead to tip.

Leah: No. So there's so much anxiety around it. Also, when you're coming out, you're, like, with a person who's getting wheeled out and you're trying to get them into the car, and it's like a whole thing.

Nick: Right. Yeah. Yeah, no, the medical thing in general, we do not tip when it's medical related. And I guess it just comes down to is the valet part of that medical experience? And if it is, then I guess the medical tipping rules would apply.

Leah: Yeah. And then if it's a place where you drive up and you can either park, you can find street parking, or you can pay $20 at the thing, or valet, then you tip.

Nick: Okay. All right, so I think this is the answer here.

Leah: This feels good. Let us know, though listeners if you think otherwise.

Nick: Yeah, let us know. So our next question is quote, "I've noticed that many public restrooms, including at my workplace, always have their doors propped open. Maybe this is to promote ventilation of a small space? I always remove the doorstop when I go in to do my business, because I don't like the idea that the sounds of my business will otherwise reverberate into the hallway. Am I then expected to put the doorstop back? The expectation that the door of a private space should be constantly open feels so weird and wrong to me."

Leah: Also feels weird to me. I also pull the doorstop out.

Nick: Yes. I feel like as we're going into the space, I think we are welcome to close the door, right?

Leah: Yes.

Nick: Are we? I mean ... Hmm. Like, I guess, what kind of bathroom is it? Like, if this was an airport and the door was propped open, we're not gonna—we're not gonna close the door.

Leah: I'm not closing the bathroom door at an airport.

Nick: Right.

Leah: But if we're in an office?

Nick: If we're in an office, yes. I feel like that is different.

Leah: I work with all these people, and now—sorry to be graphic listeners—they're gonna hear me pee? No, thank you.

Nick: Now what about the question of what is propping open the door? Because is it like a rubber doorstopper? Is it like something makeshift? Like, is it a garbage can that was, like, moved in front of it? Is it a chair? Like, I feel like that matters.

Leah: Well, I imagine—because I see this all the time. I see this all the time, that it's one of the little triangles that gets shoved under the door.

Nick: Right. Little rubber doorstopper.

Leah: Yeah.

Nick: Sure. Okay.

Leah: I'll tell you what else. As a woman in a public bathroom, I feel—and maybe other people don't feel this way—always slightly vulnerable.

Nick: Mmm, okay.

Leah: I want a door in between me and the rest of the world.

Nick: I feel like that's fair. Yes. I feel like men also enjoy this.

Leah: Would you not like a door in between you and the rest of the world?

Nick: Yes. No, I would like—I would like that. Yes. Now okay, we've closed the door. Fine. Then I guess the question is: Do we open it again when we're done? Do we leave it the way we found it?

Leah: Did somebody else come in after us?

Nick: Oh! Right, because if somebody did, then it's super weird to now have opened the door on them.

Leah: Yeah. Then, "Oh, sorry. I'm propping the door open on you."

Nick: Yeah. So then do we wait until they leave? Do we come back later?

Leah: No, I'm just gonna leave.

Nick: What about closing the door but not latching it so it's, like, slightly ajar?

Leah: I don't think it's a latch door. It's like a door that leads into many stalls.

Nick: No, well, it's like the main entrance to this bathroom area.

Leah: Yes.

Nick: But, like, I could close it in such a way where, like, it's still open a couple inches.

Leah: Okay.

Nick: It's not, like, swung widely open.

Leah: But you've now taken the stopper out.

Nick: I've taken the stopper out, but I've, like, put the stopper in the door jamb so, like, the door doesn't close all the way.

Leah: So it's, like, two inches open.

Nick: Right. Does that achieve anything for us?

Leah: Well, the thing is is that when you close it, it's probably gonna close on your way back out.

Nick: Right.

Leah: It's hard to jam it from the other direction.

Nick: Yeah. Okay.

Leah: I mean, I assume what they're doing is what our letter-writer said. They're airing it out.

Nick: Right. Yeah. I mean, I assume that's what's happening. So I guess how much air does it need, and does it still need to be aired out after you use the restroom?

Leah: Here it is. If somebody doesn't come in after me, if it's still empty, and whatever needed airing before still needs airing?

Nick: Okay.

Leah: I'm gonna reput the stopper in.

Nick: Let's go one step further. I think regardless of whether or not you think it still needs airing, I'm gonna restore the door to its original state regardless. Assuming nobody came in after me.

Leah: Yes. I like this idea.

Nick: Right. Because I don't need the burden on me to decide is this bathroom fresh enough?

Leah: [laughs]

Nick: I don't want that on my shoulders.

Leah: I think as long as nobody came after me and nobody's walking in as I'm leaving. Because they didn't know that the door was propped open.

Nick: Right. Is there a world in which we might be passing someone who's entering, would we say something to them, like, "Hey, the door was propped open when I got here."

Leah: I'm not gonna—I don't need to have a conversation.

Nick: We're not gonna engage? Okay.

Leah: But I mean, if you want to. If you think that's correct.

Nick: You think I'm gonna engage?

Leah: No, I don't think you're gonna engage either.

Nick: No. Okay. So office, this applies. School. This does not apply at a rest stop. Or does it?

Leah: I definitely—that feeling of vulnerability?

Nick: Okay. That's where that kicks in.

Leah: I'm pulling it at a rest stop.

Nick: Okay. Buc-ee's?

Leah: Buc-ee's doesn't have a door, Nick. FYI.

Nick: There's no door?

Leah: No. You go in, there's art along the walls of the bathroom.

Nick: Okay?

Leah: All the ones I recall, women are to the left, men are to the right. And then you're walking in, there's no door.

Nick: Oh, interesting. Oh, so that's how they keep it so fresh.

Leah: But the stalls are, like, doors. You have your own door.

Nick: Oh, I see. Okay.

Leah: Very good bathrooms.

Nick: No, I hear. I hear. Okay, so I guess these are the rules. You're welcome to close the door. You should open it again, assuming nobody else entered after you.

Leah: And nobody's walking in as you're leaving.

Nick: And nobody's walking in as you're leaving. Okay. Now what you have done, though, is you have closed the door on a bathroom, though, that was open according to management.

Leah: We don't know if it was open according to management. It could have been open according to the last person who left.

Nick: Oh, you think somebody, like, went in, blew it up, and then, like, left the door open on the way out?

Leah: It's totally possible.

Nick: [laughs] I guess that is possible. Okay, true.

Leah: We don't know why it's open.

Nick: We don't know why it's open. But I guess why I'm hesitating is that we are now taking initiative to sort of assert our opinion about how this door should be, and it's not necessarily our place to do so.

Leah: Well, that person is more than welcome to come back and reopen the door. Also, they could leave a sign that says, 'Please leave this open,' in which case I would know that it was management.

Nick: That's it. Yes. If you own this bathroom and this is important to you, then you need to have a sign about what you expect this door to be.

Leah: Yes, please.

Nick: Okay, so if there's no sign, then our rules apply. If there's a sign, then do whatever the sign says.

Leah: I'm glad we worked it out.

Nick: I think we really got somewhere with this.

Leah: I feel really good about it.

Nick: No, I feel pretty good. Yeah. So listeners, how do you feel about this? Let us know! And let us know your questions and your vents, your repents, your cordials of kindness, and all the other fun things we ask for. You can send it to us through our website WereYouRaisedByWolves.com. Or you can leave us a voicemail or send us a text message: (267) CALL-RBW. And we'll see you next time!

Leah: Bye!

Nick: Bye!