Etiquette, manners, and beyond! In this episode, Nick and Leah tackle giving toasts, blowing bubbles, holding photos hostage, and much more. Please subscribe! (We'd write you a hand-written thank you note if we could.)
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Hosts: Nick Leighton & Leah Bonnema
Producer & Editor: Nick Leighton
Theme Music: Rob Paravonian
Do you give toasts that are too long? Do you hold photos hostage? Do you play music loudly in public? Were you raised by wolves?! Let's find out!
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Nick: Hey, everybody, it's Nick Leighton.
Leah: And I'm Leah Bonnema!
Nick: We're in New York today, and let's just get right down to it!
Leah: Let's get in it.
Nick: For today's amuse-bouche, I want to talk about this thing where we put trees on top of skyscrapers. Have you ever noticed, at a construction site, that sometimes you'll see a tree at the top of the scaffolding? Have you ever noticed this?
Leah: You know, I have noticed this.
Nick: Yeah, and you're like, "What is that about?"
Leah: I immediately assume it's a Christmas shout out.
Nick: Okay! It is not!
Nick: It's called a topping tree, and this is actually a very ancient tradition. This dates back to, potentially, the year 700 in Scandinavia. There are different theories about how this started, but one of the ideas is that we are all of trees. We come from trees; we will return to trees when we die - so, trees have our spirit in them. So, when you cut down trees to make a house, you want to sort of honor that. The idea was we would put a tree on top of the building to honor the spirits or maybe appease them, who might be a little upset that we cut some down and cleared some land. This is where this started. It's to appease the forest gods for what we had just done. This spread throughout Europe and then made its way over to North America and now, we do it today; now, we do it on major skyscrapers, and bridges, and iron works, and things like that.
Leah: Oh, wow!
Leah: I had no idea! I like it. It's like an offering- a thank you to the trees.
Nick: Yeah. So, it's sort of a good luck thing. It's sort of maybe a superstition thing, like symbolizing bringing life into the building. Sometimes, it's only done when there was no fatal accidents at the construction site; so, sometimes, the tradition is like, "Oh, we only do the tree if this was a safe job." Another explanation that I got, which I kind of also like, is that, at the end of the day, nature still triumphs man. Despite all of our accomplishments, despite reaching for the heavens with our scaffolding, that, at the end of the day, nature does triumph. So, I kinda like this concept, too, that-
Leah: It's beautiful.
Nick: -that's why we put the tree on it.
Leah: The one about they only put it up if nobody died on those? A little sad.
Nick: Yeah. Yeah.
Leah: You're like, "Oh, no! Every time I don't see a tree, I'm gonna have to be like, "What happened here?!"
Nick: You'll be like, "Oh, no! What happened?" [Giggling] Yeah, I don't know how typical that is, but I know that is a thing that is done.
Nick: That's the topping tree.
Leah: It's so interesting. I really just thought people left their Christmas trees up.
Nick: Nope. It's a topping tree.
Nick: We're back, and now it's time to go deep.
Leah: Very deep.
Nick: So, let's raise a glass, Leah, and let's talk about giving a good toast.
Leah: Fantastic! I feel like you have extraordinary skills.
Nick: Oh? You've never actually seen me give a toast, have you?
Leah: I just ... You know when you know something deep inside yourself?
Nick: [Giggling] Okay. I just have that je ne sais quoi? Okay.
Leah: You just ... I feel it with every essence of my being.
Nick: Have you ever given a toast?
Leah: I haven't given a toast. I've been master of ceremonies at people's weddings.
Nick: Okay. I can see you being very good at this.
Leah: So, I feel like I've ... I've been a-
Nick: Standup comic [Giggling]
Leah: I've married people.
Leah: I've done the weddings-
Nick: Officiant thing.
Leah: I was a wedding officiant.
Leah: So, I feel like ... But that's not exactly the same.
Nick: No, no. I'm talking about we are asked to give a toast at some occasion - maybe it's a dinner party, maybe it's a wedding- and how to do this in a good way. Because, if you look at YouTube, and you look at bad toasts, this is ... This is a genre. This is a genre! [Giggling]
Leah:Oh! I bet that is an incredible hole to go down on YouTube!
Nick: So, I actually ... I enjoy giving toasts. Surprisingly, I'm not asked to give toasts that often, and I gotta say, my toasts, I'd like to think, are quite good. I don't know. Maybe ...
Leah: I know they are!
Nick: Maybe they're not good, which is why I don't get asked back.
Leah: Maybe you don't get asked back because it made everybody else feel inadequate.
Nick: Oh ... Okay. Yeah, yeah ... So, I guess, a couple thoughts I had when I was thinking about this topic. The first is that you need to know your strengths. Some people are not good with humor, in which case, don't try and be funny.
Nick: No, I mean that in the nicest possible way.
Leah: Oh, I know! I know you do, but it's very true.
Nick: [Giggling] Yeah. Just know your strengths. If you're not a witty person; good turn of phrase; great with a funny anecdote ... If that's just not you, know thyself, and don't try and do a toast that does not highlight your strengths. So, when in doubt, always lean toward sincerity instead of humor. I think that is a good baseline piece of advice.
Leah: Oh, I would agree. Especially, I've seen things at work situations-
Nick: Mm ...
Leah: -where people were obviously trying to be funny, but they don't know where that line is between what's a joke and what just comes off as-
Nick: What's an HR complaint?
Leah: Yeah [Laughing] Just like insulting because they couldn't really land it, and you're like, "Oh, no ..."
Nick: Yeah. So, we don't want that. Yeah, if people are cringing during your toast, it's a ...
Leah: Or crying-
Nick: Or crying [Laughing] in not a good way? Yeah ... So, I think, know your strengths, and just think about it in that way. Maybe we don't wanna, like, be funny ... The other thing with toasts is some people think it's like, "Oh, I'm gonna tell a story," but that's not really actually what a toast is. A toast is you're making some point about the couple or the occasion, and you want to think about: what is the point I'm trying to make? Then you maybe want to share a story that illustrates that point. The point of the toast is not the story, itself. It's not just like that time we got drunk in college, and, "Oh, I never thought he would meet somebody!" That's not what we want.
Nick: You want to think about, for this toast, I want to emphasize that I think this couple is such a great pairing, and here is an example of why I've arrived at this conclusion. Then, that's what your toast is about. The point of the toast is that you really believe that they are simpatico. That is the way I would think about how to do the toast.
Leah: It's very similar to a nice paper, where you have- you know what your thesis is-
Leah: You're gonna keep in line with the thesis. You may have some great things you want to say on the topic; doesn't fit in the thesis!
Nick: Yeah. Yeah. I wrote a five-paragraph essay. Here's what I want to talk about ... No, don't do that, actually [Laughing]
Leah: We're gonna start with it; I'm gonna highlight it; I'm gonna close it out; back on it.
Nick: Also, I think you want to remember that you are taking the audience on a journey from A to B; B is the point you want to make. Then, that journey is how you get there. Your story is not just a series of chronological events. Anybody can just give you a list of things that happened on a timeline. That's not what we want from your toast. We actually want you to go from moment to moment, or emotion to emotion. I don't want event to event. That's like Storytelling 2.0, but I feel like our audience is ready for this level.
Leah: I feel like our audience is ready for this level, too.
Nick: Yeah. So, in your toast, you want to think about not just reciting a series of events, but how do you feel about those events? That is much more persuasive to, I think, the people you're talking to.
Leah: I think some people get very nervous speaking publicly-
Leah: A few very easy tips with that is always speak slower than you think you need to speak.
Nick: Oh, that's a good tip!
Leah: Because when people get nervous, they tend to speak faster.
Leah: What could feel like days, for you, was 30 seconds.
Nick: True. That's true. Although, on the flip side, I think your toast should be no more than two minutes.
Leah: Oh, yeah. I'm not saying-
Leah: -and then, write eight pages. I'm saying just don't be like, "And then ... [speed-mumbling] ..." If you can't enunciate it-
Leah: -people can't join in your enthusiasm.
Nick: Yeah. That's true.
Leah: I'm just saying that because I believe in our audience that they-
Nick: I have faith in our audience.
Leah: -speak clearly.
Nick: Yes. Elocution. Yes. Also, another thing is don't wing it. Don't wing it.
Nick: Give some thought. Give some thought about what you want to say, but don't write it out word for word. That's like death, when you like whip out a piece of paper that has it written word for word; no one wants to hear your reader toast.
Leah: I mean, what do you think, if they need to write it out word for word at home, for themselves?
Nick: Sure. If you want to organize your thoughts at home, no problem. But I think the most you would want in your pocket would be bullet points to remind yourself how you're going to get from A to B.
Nick: But once we start reading, like, "I met Chad and Lisa, uh, five years ago, and it was so. wonderful. to. ..." No. No one wants that!
Leah: I know sometimes I've gotten nervous. I'll get nervous about names. I could know your name for my whole life and then, if I get nervous about it, I'd forget it while staring at your face. It's just how my lovely anxiety works. So, when I've had to say anything that wasn't quite a toast, but in this line ñ because you don't want to write it all out - I will have people's names written somewhere in case I have to look.
Nick: The people who are getting married?
Leah: No, no. I mean, say it's a job.
Nick: Oh, okay.
Leah: You want to make sure you said thank you to somebody. In your mind, you're like, "What if I forget?"
Nick: Oh, okay.
Leah: I say their name wrong ... You know?
Nick: Oh, sure.
Leah: Sometimes, it works to just have it written out somewhere. Then you don't get nervous because you think, "I can always look."
Nick: Right. There are other occasions for toasts than just weddings. Let's say you're at a dinner party, or it's a job thing, or whatever. These can be very short. Just, "Thank you so much for joining us this evening. It's so great to have everybody gather around the same table. Here's to another great year." That's great. Short and sweet. Love it.
Leah: I love it. I think what you said earlier about as long as you say it sincerely.
Nick: Yes. Sincerity rules the day. Then, I guess another thought I had written down is don't get drunk. Don't be drunk. Don't give a drunk toast [Giggling]
Leah: No, that's a solid, solid point.
Nick: Well, I feel like it has to be mentioned because, on the YouTube, a lot of those bad toasts? They might have been a couple drinks in.
Leah: Yeah, just wait until after your toast is done.
Nick: Exactly. Yes! I'm sorry if all the toasts were at the end of the evening, but that ... It would be better for your toast, yes. The last thing just to mention is that you should bring your glass with you, because, very often, the toast involves raising a glass at the end to whoever you're toasting or whatever you're toasting, so make sure you have a glass with you.
Leah: That is such a good point.
Nick: As we recall from a previous episode, you do not need to have alcohol in that glass. It is fine to toast with water.
Leah: I love that you said that.
Nick: But you should have a glass of something because, when you don't, that's very strange.
Leah: You're just raising [Laughing] High five! High five!
Nick: You're just raising your hand. Right. Also, a reminder, wh en you are being toasted, you do not raise your glass. Do not toast yourself. Allow the toast to wash over you.
Leah: Oh, that's nice!
Nick: We're back, and now it's time to take some questions from you guys in the wilderness.
Nick: So, our first question is: "Am I wrong here?" Always a good start.
Leah: Yeah, I underlined that. Thank you for letting us know! [Giggling]
Nick: "I was taught that cash never goes on the counter. You hand it directly to the person. My husband, however, apparently thinks this is totally fine. This came up because I had to be out of the house this morning, and I asked my husband to pay the housekeeper. When I came home, there was a wad of cash just sitting on the countertop in the kitchen. I asked why he didn't just hand it to her, and he explained that he'd been on a call for work and because he wasn't sure of her exact arrival time, thought it would be better to just leave it for her to pick up, instead of having to interrupt his call. I think you can say, "Excuse me," to the meeting and take a minute to say thank you and hand some cash to someone who's working hard. But if that's not possible, shouldn't you at least put it in an envelope with her name on it with a thank you note instead of just tossing a rather large wad of cash onto the counter?" Mmm.
Leah: MMMmmm ...
Leah: I love it that it starts ñ I'm gonna say it again ñ " Am I wrong here?" You know, I want to know in which direction we're reading the question.
Nick: I think that it is nice to hand money to someone and say thank you. I think that's nice, right?
Leah: Yeah. I also, in a purchasing situation, let me say, at the store, when you're shopping, I always ... I don't know who told me this, but it is in my brain somewhere that I always hand it; that I don't put it down; that it's somehow rude that somebody would then have to collect it up off the counter.
Nick: Hmm, okay.
Leah: So, there is that. I do think that the way we hand people money back and forth now is gonna be slightly different because of COVID.
Leah: People might not want to take cash directly out of other people's hands.
Leah: In this circumstance, I think it's fine to - if you're on a phone call; you're leaving it for somebody - I would put the cash in an envelope and write a little note: "I'm on a call. Wanted to leave this for you. Thank you so much."
Nick: Yeah. I think that the thrust of the question is whether or not I'm just leaving a wad of cash on a countertop, just willy nilly, just blowin' in the breeze, or ...
Leah: I don't even know how a person would know that's for them.
Nick: Right. So, I think that's the main question ... I think most people, if they just see cash laying out on the counter, is not thinking, "Oh, that's for me."
Leah: Yeah, but I do think it's fine to not come off the call, but I think there needs to be a note.
Nick: Yes. I mean, I think, in general, we want to at least have an envelope with the cash-
Nick: -with the person's name on it.
Nick: I think that's a nice baseline. If you want to write a note on an envelope, "Thank you so much ..." that would be nice.
Leah: You know me. I love a note.
Nick: Right. So, whether or not it needs to be in a card and a handwritten note, I mean, that might be a little far, but I think something in between cash flung out on the countertop and a formal ceremony.
Leah: Yeah. I think, just pop those bad boys in an envelope.
Nick: Yeah. Now, I feel like if it's a check, I feel like leaving a check out without an envelope is somehow different, right?
Leah: It does feel different. I would still put a little sticky on there with a note though.
Nick: Yes, I like a sticky on a check. Also, for some reason, even though there's not a lot of breeze in my apartment, I would always put a check under something, like a candle-
Leah: That's what I was thinking! What if these fly away? But there's no air movement in here! We live in New York!
Nick: Yeah, but I would always put- I would definitely put the check under a paper weight, or something; just FYI, yeah.
Nick: Yeah, so, I think that's how I would handle this. Let's not leave cash out totally unattended. Let's create a little identification around it.
Leah: Yeah, so it's very clear: "This is for you. Thank you!"
Nick: Yeah. Great. Our next question is: "What do you do about people who hold photos hostage? For example, someone who takes a group photo of you and says, "Oh, I'll send it to you." [Giggling] Okay ... I mean, is this a Kodak Advantix camera that we have to send the film away for processing? Like, what is this?
Leah: I think people do say, "I'll email you this when I get home." Now, you can just say, "Hey, let's AirDrop it."
Nick: Yeah. I don't feel like anything has to happen once we get home.
Leah: Yeah, I think you can always say, "Oh, while we're still thinking about it, let's just AirDrop it right now."
Nick: Yeah, but let's say that that doesn't happen. How do we follow up? Is it the same rules about like the person who didn't pay for brunch, who needs to like still Venmo you? How do we address this photo-hostage situation?
Leah: If you have a photo that I really want-
Leah: -when I get home that day, I'm gonna text you: "Had a great time. Can you text me that photo? Loved it so much. Thanks!"
Nick: Then, I say, "Yeah, no problem!" And then, I don't ...
Leah: What? You are sinister!
Leah: The idea that you would respond, "No problem," and then not do it? I would then have to be like, "Is something else happening?"
Nick: This is a hostage situation, yeah.
Leah: Is there something else going on that I don't know about?
Nick: Okay, yeah. So, there must be something else happening. Otherwise, why wouldn't you just send the photo, right?
Leah: Yeah. If I've already asked you ... I would ask politely, like say something up top about how fun it was; remind them of the picture - sometimes, people forgot - thank them in advance for sending it. Then, if it doesn't come back, there's something else happening.
Nick: Yeah, yeah. Because, otherwise, what is the problem?
Leah: Yeah! Why would somebody hold a photo- unless it was the ugliest photo in the world of the person who took the picture?
Nick: Or they're protecting your feelings. Maybe it's such a horrible photo of you, and I don't want to send it to you because I don't want you to be upset.
Leah: I'm gonna guess, I already checked that picture, when you took it the first time, and I was like, "Ooh, I love that photo! Send it to me!"
Nick: Oh ... I see. You're already- you have unlimited photo kills in your contract. Okay. [Laughing] Okay, so I guess we want the photo in the moment. That's the ideal situation. Do not let this become a hostage situation. But if it is-
Leah: If it does, you follow up real quick.
Nick: Right, and if it's still a problem, then this is not about the photo.
Leah: This is not about the photo.
Nick: Okay, great. Our next question is: "My boyfriend is always trying to do things with the best intentions, but sometimes I feel like he goes too far and actually inconveniences me or the people we are with. For example, if we order an Uber, he greatly anticipates its arrival and is on constant lookout for it. When he sees it, he will start to walk down the sidewalk and sometimes into the street to grab its attention. His intention is to help the driver find us, but I believe they will be able to follow their GPS to our marked spot just fine, and a simple wave on the sidewalk is sufficient to get their attention. So, in doing this, I feel like he's inconveniencing me and others by making us now walk down the street to meet the car when it could have just pulled up in front of us."
Leah: I was looking forward to hearing what you had to say about this one.
Nick: I like the attempt that someone is trying to be considerate.
Nick: So, my first thought is let us not squelch that behavior. Let us not extinguish that flame. We want to encourage the bonfire of consideration here. We want that to grow. We want this behavior for the boyfriend; we might need to modify it, but I think we want to not make the boyfriend feel bad for trying to be considerate. That's my first thought.
Leah: I agree. It's nice when people want to be considerate.
Nick: Yeah, and in the world of things that are annoying, this is not top 10 for me. [Giggling]
Leah: My guess is that this is an example.
Nick: Yes. Yes. This is just one example. Yes. This is not the only thing that's probably happening. I mean, to just address this example, I guess, I would just say let the boyfriend jump in the car, and then have the car drive down the street, and then meet us. I'm not gonna walk down the street. You go down ... If you feel like you wanna get the car's attention five miles away, no problem. You do that, and then just instruct the driver to come to where we are, and then pick us up.
Leah: Right. [Giggling] Let them be them, and then you be you.
Nick: Yeah. So, I think that would be fine. Or there is a way to, message the driver with more specific instructions about where you are.
Leah: Also, though, the driver, at this point, isn't lost.
Nick: The driver is not lost. No, no. We're just anticipating the arrival so eagerly that we're jumping the gun a little bit.
Leah: Yeah, and I understand wanting to help. I also think we could say -, as you said, never want to squelch one being considerate -
Leah: "I love how considerate you're being. I so appreciate it. Let's let the driver ... This is their job."
Leah: I know sometimes I tell stories that are not as parallel as I think they are-
Leah: But this really reminded me of I went to college with this girl-
Nick: Oh, gosh. Okay.
Leah: This is-
Nick: This is not related at all, is it? [Giggling]
Leah: It is really related at the end.
Leah: Because I don't think this person realizes they're doing this to the driver. My friend in college is a lawyer. I moved here to be in the arts. I was a cater-waiter. I ended up catering one of her events. She came over and started helping me do things because she felt like she didn't want to put me out, or she wanted to be extra-considerate.
Leah: But, really, this is just what I do. I don't need you- like, the driver doesn't need him to walk them down the block.
Nick: Right. Okay. So, this is sort of like if we're at dinner, and I actually hand my dirty plate to the waiter.
Leah: Yeah, it's- the waiter knows-
Nick: I don't need to do that.
Leah: It's their job, and they have no problem doing ... You know what I mean? I had no problem bartending at this event. I wasn't- it's what I do. You know what I mean?
Nick: Okay ... So, this story actually is vaguely parallel to what we're talking about.
Leah: It is vaguely parallel. You just had to get to the end of it.
Nick: [Giggling] Okay.
Leah: Because I think this person in no way means to do that, but by going all the way down the street, they're, in some way, saying, "I don't know if you can find your way."
Nick: Okay. Yeah, I see where you're going with that. Okay.
Leah: This driver's like, "I do this like 500 times a day.
Nick: Right ... Yeah. Okay, so, I think the boyfriend in our story is coming from a good place.
Nick: So, we need to be able to have a little heart to heart with this person and explain what their behavior is actually doing, even though they think they are acting in conveniencing people, it's actually inconveniencing people. So, let's not do that.
Leah: Yeah, but with a kind heart, because it's very nice that they care so much.
Nick: Yes, yes. This is all in- the tone, and the approach ... We have to approach this gingerly because we don't want them to feel like they can't do nice things.
Nick: They just need to realize that the nice things they think they're doing are actually not nice. Well, they're not not nice. They're just slightly inconvenient.
Leah: If a person's lost, then have at it. Go find them.
Nick: Oh, absolutely. Yes, but-
Leah: But give a person an opportunity to pull up, and everybody get in, and how it works-
Leah: How we've all agreed that it works.
Nick: Right. Right. Okay, so, this is good.
Leah: I really like what you said about let the boyfriend walk down the street if they really need to do that. Then, the letter-writer can stay where they are, and then they can come.
Nick: Yeah. I think that might be the path of least resistance here.
Leah: Yeah, because in our home, I need to be at the Lyft when they get there. I hate the idea that somebody doesn't know if I'm gonna come down. They think I'm gonna be late. It makes me crazy.
Leah: So, I need to go down as soon as I've ordered it. Even if I know they're not there, it's ... I am that person.
Nick: Oh, okay.
Leah: But I stand in the doorway. I don't run up and down the block.
Nick: Okay [Giggling]
Leah: My significant other is like, "I'll come when they get there." So, both of us are happy. He comes when they get there. I go down early. Everybody's happy.
Nick: And there's harmony.
Leah: And there's harmony.
Nick: There'll be harmony if we answer your questions, so, send them in!
Nick: Send them to us through our website, wereyouraisedbywolves.com, or you can send us a text message or leave us a voicemail at (267) CALL-RBW (267-225-5729)
Nick: We're back, and now it's time to play a game we like to call Vent or Repent.
Leah: [Singing] Vent or Repennnnt!
Nick: This is our opportunity to vent about some bad etiquette thing that's happened to us recently, or we can repent for some etiquette faux pas we've committed. So, Leah, would you like to vent or repent?
Leah: I'm gonna vent, but I also want to give you the opportunity to go first, because you always ask me, and I don't want a constantly-
Nick: How kind! Yes! So, for me, I would like to vent. I recently had a lovely picnic in a park near my house.
Leah: Oh, nice!
Nick: I live relatively close to the Hudson River Park, which is very nice. It's along the Hudson River. Nice weather. There were quite a few people out. I want everyone to have a good time. I'm not here to rain on anybody's parade. However, do you need to play loud music in the park?
Nick: Do you need to do that? Does it need to be that loud? I mean, really? I'm not looking for some sort of Zen experience, like I'm at Ryōan-ji, and I need to languish in the emptiness of my mind." I don't need that level of solitude, but do I need to have the extremely loud music blasting right there? Like, do I need that? I don't want that.
Leah: I was so excited, as soon as you said, "However ..."
Nick: [Giggling] So, I would really like people to be mindful that etiquette is about being mindful of other people, and that has to do with maybe noise pollution, as well.
Nick: When you are very loud, you are affecting other people! That's loud at a restaurant; that's loud playing music in a park; that's loud anywhere people are allowed. So, I would just be mindful of this, especially in a park. Let's not play loud music.
Nick: That's all. That's all I got. Just, I would rather you didn't.
Leah: Watch Nick's earspace!
Nick: Yes! My earspace, please! All right, Leah, let's hear it.
Leah: I feel like mine has a similar flavor.
Nick: Oh, okay!
Leah: Not sound. I'm not sure if I mentioned this to you ... In the first couple weeks of the quarantine, this happened, and then, I saw it again recently. So, the first time is right when everything started getting heavy, so, I was extra ... I mean, I was walking around with gloves, and a mask, and a trash ... You know what I mean?
Nick: Yes, full Hazmat, yeah.
Leah: If I was going to the grocery store, there was eight layers.
Leah: Blowing bubbles on the sidewalk-
Leah: I come around a corner-
Leah: Couple people blowing bubbles.
Nick: We're talking like a little plastic container; I'm a child; there's a wand; I dip it in; I'm blowin' bubbles; I'm having merriment and whimsy.
Leah: Yeah, but it's adults-
Leah: Obviously, I get it. You need to go out. It's something you have- you need to do something, or whatever.
Nick: I get it. I have to blow bubbles. I'm an adult. Okay.
Leah: I mean, I understand you're just ... People are losing it. I get that.
Leah: That being said, one of the bubbles, I felt like it chased me. I dove behind a car. You are launching something you blew into-
Nick: [Giggling] Right?
Leah: -into a public area-
Leah: -at a time when we are afraid of anything coming out of your mouth!
Leah: I get that it's "soap." No, no, no! It's like a surfboard. This soap is just serving as a surfboard for your germs. Please don't blow bubbles onto, I'm gonna say, any kind of a sidewalk with other people!
Leah: It's terrorizing right now!
Nick: Okay, uh-
Leah: I come around the corner, and all of a sudden, there's just bubbles!
Leah: I gotta run!
Nick: [Giggling] Uh, yeah, I can ... I have not seen bubble-blowing in my neighborhood.
Leah: Oh, just wait til you see it! It feels egregious! You're like, "Are you blowing bubbles right now?!"
Nick: Yeah. That is bold.
Leah: It is bold!
Nick: That's a bold move!
Leah: It is a bold statement!
Nick: Yeah. Okay ...
Leah: I can understand if it's like a kid who doesn't- but if you're an adult, and you're blowing bubbles?
Leah: What's going on?! What happened?!
Nick: What are you doing? Yeah. Okay. So, don't blow bubbles.
Nick: Although, here's the thing about bubbles. I actually dislike bubbles at any time. I don't like having this sort of dirty, soapy water arrive on me at any time!
Leah: Oh, me, either! I'm not a fan of bubbles, in general.
Nick: There's not been a time in my life, where I was thrilled to have a bubble pop on me in a public space.
Leah: Oh, me, neither!
Nick: Yeah. Like, I don't want that happening. So, I think let's just not have bubbles anymore. Let's end bubbles.
Leah: I'm fine with that.
Nick: We're gonna get so much email from people upset-
Leah: There's gonna be some letters from the Palmolive people!
Nick: Yeah. All right. I take it back. Bubbles are great. I didn't mean it. Don't send me angry letters about bubbles. We love bubbles.
Leah: I appreciate the joy that bubbles bring. I think you can do it, at this time in our history, in your own home.
Nick: Yes, let's have private bubbles.
Leah: Yeah, or if you live in a place where there are backyards. In New York City-
Nick: Hmm. The rules for bubbles are different.
Leah: Yeah. We gotta watch our bubbling.
Nick: I mean, bubbles is really phase four, right?
Leah: [Laughing] Really phase four.
Nick: We're not ready for bubbles right now.
Nick: Okay. Broadway shows open? [In unison] Bubbles! Okay [Giggling]
Nick: So, Leah, what have we learned?
Leah: I learned about tree toppers.
Nick: Isn't that fun?
Leah: It's really fun.
Nick: Now you know.
Leah: I mean, I was so off base! [Laughing]
Nick: So, now, when you see a tree on top of a skyscraper, you'll know.
Leah: I'll be like tree shout out!
Nick: I learned that if we get a Lyft, you are already on the curb.
Leah: I am. I'm waiting.
Nick: You are ready. You're prone. You're just ready to attack!
Leah: I really am.
Nick: Well, thank you, Leah.
Leah: Thank you, Nick.
Nick: And thanks to you out there for listening. If I had your address, I'd send you handwritten note on my custom stationery.
Leah: He would.
Nick: And I would.
Leah: He does!
Nick: And I do! For your homework, this week: no homework! You have a week off. Isn't that nice?
Leah: That's so nice!
Nick: Yes! You know what? You don't have to have homework this week, although if you wanted to do some stuff for us, go to our website . We have some ideas. We'll see you next time!
[Instrumental Theme Song]
Nick: All right, Leah. It's time for Cordials of Kindness-
Leah: Yay, yay, yay!
Nick: [Giggling] -the part of the show that Leah makes us do, but I only give her 30 seconds to say nice things. Ready, set, go.
Leah: I live between two pharmacies, and I wanted to say that they were- have been exceptional! Everybody kept everything so clean. Everybody was so helpful. I feel, especially in New York, where it felt very scary in the beginning, or definitely ... Not just felt, was ... They just- everybody showed up. They were working during a crisis. They were helpful. I wrote them both thank you notes to both of the pharmacies.
Nick: Oh! Like you mailed thank you notes?
Leah: Well, I sent it to the headquarters, so they know that the people ... I just wanted- I feel like people are so quick to write negative reviews.
Leah: Anytime people are great, I just wanna be like-
Nick: They're not gonna know what to do with it!
Leah: Everybody was exceptional.
Nick: Oh, that's very nice. For me, we got a great voice mail from someone, and I'll just read it. "Hi, Nick and Leah. I had a horrible evening involving the death of a pet, so today was mostly about being home. I'm trying to get the will to do something productive, like take a shower, and I turned on your podcast, and listened to you discussing decanting Cheetos. Then you said, 'You get the horses, I'll get the shotgun!' It made my ability to step into the shower a million times better. Thank you so much. I'm probably gonna be laughing to myself about Cheetos for the next week or so." So, that is very nice-
Leah: That is so sweet! I almost welled up!
Nick: Yeah. Like, I think that's very nice that we made someone's very not great day a little better.
Leah: That's so sweet! I'm so sorry about your pet.
Nick: Yeah ... I'm sorry to hear that news, but I'm glad we were able to sort of help you through this. That kind of makes this show all worthwhile.
Leah: It does! That's so sweet!
Nick: So, thank you!
You can start with our first episode, our most recent episode, or jump in with one of these favorites in the middle:
Etiquette, manners, and beyond! In this very special 100th episode extravaganza, Nick and Leah revisit their favorite moments from the series and much more. Please follow us! (We'd send you a hand-written thank you note if we had your address.)
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Etiquette, manners, and beyond! In this episode, Nick and Leah tackle answering phones, cutting lines, telling restaurants it's your birthday, selling items online, responding to rude customer service, and much more. Please subscribe! (We'd write you a hand-written thank you …
Etiquette, manners, and beyond! In this episode, Nick and Leah tackle eating corn on the cob, asking people how old they are, handling people who never RSVP, and much more. Please subscribe! (We'd write you a hand-written thank you note …
Etiquette, manners, and beyond! In this episode, Nick and Leah tackle using towels at a Japanese restaurant, ghosting, dressing appropriately for Renaissance fairs, speaking to flight attendants while wearing headphones, correcting people who get your name wrong, asking about a …
Etiquette, manners, and beyond! In this bonus episode, Nick and Leah answer listener questions about eating Cheetos, calling dibs, handling supermarket line cutters and slow baggers, behaving at a funeral, shutting down resentful relatives, going barefoot in a no-shoe household, …