Nov. 4, 2019

Eating Grapes the Wrong Way, Exercising in the Airplane Bulkhead, Texting Thank You Notes, and More

Etiquette, manners, and beyond! In this episode, we'll tackle eating grapes correctly, using foreign words in conversation, bringing wedding gifts to the ceremony, following up with someone who doesn't send a thank you note, sending thank you notes via text, stretching your legs in the bulkhead on an airplane, wearing earphones when not listening to anything, criticizing live performances while you're still in the venue, taking too long to fill up your water bottle at the gym, and much more. Please subscribe!

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  • AMUSE-BOUCHE: The correct way to eat grapes
  • A QUESTION OF ETIQUETTE: Using foreign words in conversation
  • QUESTIONS FROM THE WILDERNESS: Should you bring a wedding gift to the ceremony? What do you do when someone doesn't send a thank you note? Is it OK to send a thank you note via text? Is it OK to stretch your legs in the bulk head on an airplane if you're not seated there? What's good earphone etiquette?
  • VENT OR REPENT: Criticizing a live performance while you're still in the venue, taking too long to fill up a water bottle at the gym




Hosts: Nick Leighton & Leah Bonnema

Producer & Editor: Nick Leighton

Theme Music: Rob Paravonian


[String Music]

Nick: Do you eat grapes the wrong way? Do you text your thank you notes? Do you bring your wedding gifts to the ceremony? Were you raised by wolves? Let's find out.

[Theme Song]

Here are some things that can make it better
When we have to live together
We can all use a little help
So people don't ask themselves
Were you raised by wolves?

Nick: Hey, everybody, it's Nick Leighton.

Leah: And I'm Leah Bonnema

Nick: And we're in New York today. And let's just get right down to it with our amuse-bouche.

Leah: Amuse-bouche. Happy Mouth.

Nick: So in front of us is this beautiful bowl full of green table grapes. Organic, shiny, sweet. Not very seasonal.

Leah: Very beautiful.

Nick: ...but beautiful grapes. Leah, would you like some grapes?

Leah: I would love some grapes.

Nick: Please help yourself to some grapes.

Leah: I feel like I'm gonna do it wrong.

Nick: Yeah, you are.

Leah: But I either want to pull a chunk or take off...

Nick: Oh, please.

Leah: I feel like I should eat directly from the bowl?

Nick: Oh.

Leah: No? I'm just going to go for this one here. And I want this one, too.

Nick: Okay. So what Leah is doing is she basically just reached into the bunch of grapes and plucked individual grapes off of the bunch.

Leah: I washed my hands earlier.

Nick: OK, not the problem here.

Leah: Oh.

Nick: So, this is the correct way to eat grapes. And anybody who is gonna get mad about you for this knows the proper way. And this is typically an older relative.

Leah: Oh, wow.

Nick: Only older relatives typically will yell at you about eating grapes the wrong way. I know this because I've been yelled at by an older relative. So the correct way is, do you see those little scissors?

Leah: Oh, yes.

Nick: Use the scissors. So these are grape shears. And this started in the Regency era of the UK and it got very big in the Victorian era.

Leah: Wow.

Nick: Picture a beautiful centerpiece with like a cascading grapes coming down the bowl.

Leah: I see it. Yeah, I see it in a painting.

Nick: Right? So that is where this started. And the idea is: You take the grape shears and you snip off to some little bunch of grapes, maybe three to five, and then you take the whole bunch with the stem to your plate.

Leah: Oh, wow. I had no idea.

Nick: So let's try that. Oh, yes. OK. So we're snipping.

Leah: I'm snipping.

Nick: We're pulling.

Leah: I'm snipping and pulling.

Nick: And now we have enjoyed...

Leah: Oh, my goodness.

Nick: And now we're having grapes fall off the table and roll everywhere, but we'll ignore that.

Leah: I'm a mess.

Nick: So, that's the proper way, because the idea is if you don't do it this way and you just take individual grapes off of the bunch from the main bowl, then you'll be left with this husk of twigs.

Leah: Oh, yeah. It's like a carcass.

Nick: And this is unsightly and no one wants to see this.

Leah: Amazing. I honestly didn't even know this existed.

Nick: Yes. So, this is a thing that exists in the world and you should just know about it because people who care about this rule really care.

Leah: This is so fun.

Nick: And if you care about this rule and you know your guests don't care, because most don't, then what you should do is cut up the grapes into little bunches before you serve them.

Leah: Oh, that's a great idea.

Nick: Don't serve a whole bunch of grapes. Precut them.

Leah: A little precut grape.

Nick: So a little pro tip from me to you.

Leah: I love it.

[Musical Interlude]

Nick: And we're back. And now it's time to go deep.

Leah: All right.

Nick: Let's go real deep.

Leah: Let's go deep.

Nick: I want to talk about the foreign pronunciations of word.

Leah: OK.

Nick: So are you ever at a cocktail party and somebody is like, oh, "I just got back from vacation to Bar-thelona.".

Leah: I've definitely been there for that.

Nick: And so there is definitely something inherently wrong about this, right?

Leah: It is if no other word you ever say has an accent.

Nick: Right. If you are not from Bar-thelona... So I guess we agree that there's something pretentious about this.

Leah: Well, especially cause people we seem to make it louder than the rest of the sentence.

Nick: Got to emphasize it.

Leah: They're never just pronouncing it correctly. They're just like throwing it at you.

Nick: Right. "Oh, yes. I take ka-ra-tay." So, I guess the first thing is you care that you're coming across as pretentious.

Leah: Right. Maybe that's your thing.

Nick: If that's your thing, then you know what? Own it.

Leah: Have at it.

Nick: Live your truth.

Leah: Yes.

Nick: But if you are concerned about maybe come across as little pretentious, what are the rules for pronouncing foreign words?

Leah: Right.

Nick: I think it comes down to how much a word has been assimilated into English already.

Leah: And also, do you speak the language.

Nick: And also use the language? However... I mean, do you speak other languages?

Leah: Yes.

Nick: Would you speak?

Leah: I mean, when I say speak other languages, I...

Nick: What languages can you curse in?

Leah: I can curse in French, Hungarian, and Spanish.

Nick: Ok. I feel like this will come in handy for us someday. Somehow, some way this will come in handy. So, I think if you speak the language, this is still problematic. I studied Mandarin in school and I spent a hot second in Beijing and my default setting is to say Chinese words correctly. But in mixed company, it's very weird to say a Chinese word correctly if we're just talking about, you know, like your fengshui at home. I'm not going to be like "fēng shuǐ" or like, "Oh, I just got back from Shanghai." I'm not going to be like "Shànghǎi." Like, we got to draw the line somewhere.

Leah: Right. That I might enjoy.

Nick: So, I feel like even if you do speak the language, like you got to dial it back a little bit.

Leah: I mean, dial it back...But also, I think feel free to pronounce it correctly. Like in French, "chaud" is hot, right? "Chocolat chaud" like... hot chocolate.? I wouldn't be like, "Can I have a chocolate chod?" Like, feel free to say it correctly.

Nick: Ok. All right. I mean, I guess if you're in a French restaurant and that's the name of the thing.

Leah: Yeah.

Nick: OK. So don't...

Leah: It's just like when you're out with somebody and they're like "Paraguay" and you're like every other word you just said was...

Nick: It was...

Leah: It sounded like you were from Philly.

Nick: So I think it's also important to remember that some pronunciations are also political and like charged. Like the city of Kiev. You could say Kyiv if you want to do the Ukrainian pronunciation.

Leah: Oh, wow.

Nick: And so you're actually making a choice if you say like "Kiev" to a Ukrainian person then you're like, "oh, I'm gonna say the Russian pronunciation.".

Leah: Oh, I mean, that feels like I would need more education.

Nick: And then I think with people's names, I think you do want to try and say someone's name like as close to the way they say it in their language as possible.

Leah: Absolutely.

Nick: I have a friend that's enraged when you say the filmmaker Agnès Varda's name wrong. He's like, "On-yes Varda. On-yes." And it's like, OK...that is the correct French pronunciation.

Leah: It is, but I'd be like, "On-no." I'm giving it my best shot.

Nick: So I think the rules are you should try and say the word the way most normal English speakers say it. So "Paris, karate, tortilla." Like these words are like how we say them in English.

Leah: Right.

Nick: But if you are going to say the foreign word, then you have to kind of just be casual about it.

Leah: Yeah.

Nick: Like, "Oh, hey, Lisa, I'm going on vacation to Boo-dah-pesht tomorrow. Did you get the PowerPoint?" And then you just kind of let that slip through.

Leah: And she would say, "Igen, köszönöm szépen."

Nick: What did you say?

Leah: "Yes. Thank you very much."

Nick: Color me impressed. And then I think if you're speaking with a foreigner in English, you should use the English pronunciation of any words you're talking about, even if they're, like, place names or words in their language. So, if you're talking to an Italian person about Milan, you should just say, "Milan."

Leah: You don't think there's something to trying to making an effort?

Nick: I mean, unless your pronunciation is really good.

Leah: You don't want to mangle it.

Nick: Yeah. And also, if you're talking to a foreigner using an English word that's said in a different way in that language like "hamburger," you like don't be talking about like, "Oh, I'm going to go get a ham-bah-ger." We're like, "Oh, do you have the Wee-Fee password?"

Leah: "Do you have a Coke Light?"

Nick: So, I think those are kind of the ground rules. I guess, be cool about it.

Leah: Yeah, it's interesting because sometimes you feel like you want to try.

Nick: You do want to try.

Leah: You don't want to mangle someone's language.

Nick: Yeah. You want you want to go up to the line of being respectful...

Leah: Right.

Nick: ...and then you want to be below the ceiling of pretension.

Leah: Oh, that's a very, very fine area.

Nick: Very narrow band. And then there's the question: Do you correct people if they say it just wrong?

Leah: No.

Nick: Yeah, you can't correct people.

Leah: It makes people feel stupid.

Nick: Yeah. Yeah, you don't want to make people feel bad. And then you cannot say the same word in the same sentence.

Leah: Right.

Nick: Like in the conversation, like you can no longer say "ex-presso." Like, you just can't talk about it.

Leah: Yeah.

Nick: We'll talk about, you know, pressurized coffee.

Leah: Yes, I agree. Unless it's like you're doing a presentation with somebody or whatever and you notice that they're saying a word wrong, but pull them to the side of you like, "Hey, I think... I'm not sure, but I think it's 'espresso' if you're going to say it in the meeting."

Nick: Ok. Is that your H.R. tip?

Leah: Yeah. That's my... I've never worked in H.R.

Nick: Yeah, that's clear.

Leah: I'd be a great H.R. person. I'd be so casual.

Nick: Like, "Oh, yeah, take 10 weeks off.".

Leah: They'd have to bring in another H.R. person to deal with me.

Nick: H.R. for H.R. Great, that's very efficient.

[Musical Interlude]

Nick: And we're back. And now it's time to take some questions from the wilderness.

Leah: This is my favorite.

Nick: So, people have written in and we have answers for you.

Leah: And we love you for writing.

Nick: We do love it. So our first question is: "Should I bring the wedding gift to the ceremony?".

Leah: When I saw this question, I was like, "this is gonna have to be for Nick because, you know..."

Nick: You don't know the answer to this?

Leah: I really feel like a depends.

Nick: It does not depend.

Leah: See, I knew that's what you would say.

Nick: Yeah, you do not.

Leah: Okay.

Nick: Like, full stop.

Leah: Okay.

Nick: And don't even bring cards.

Leah: Oh. But there's always a table. A gift table.

Nick: Well, I think a gift table's rude because it implies that you're expecting gifts, which you should never expect for a wedding. That's another conversation.

Leah: What about a card box?

Nick: No. Because that implies that you're expecting money, which I think is also rude.

Leah: What about Goodfellas where they pass around a bag?

Nick: If you're having a Goodfellas-themed wedding, then OK.

Leah: This feels really directed against Italians and I'm just gonna say...

Nick: It's feeling personal?

Leah: We do gift cards.

Nick: Yes. There are different traditions with weddings and gifts and do you give money or do you not give money. Granted. This is not the time and place for that. But when it comes to bringing a physical object to the ceremony, I think you do not bring it for the express reason that it gets lost, you've inconvenienced your hosts with this object that they now have to transport somewhere else on a day when they're very busy.

Leah: OK.

Nick: So, I think you just don't do that.

Leah: So you just ship it?

Nick: I think you ship it before or after. And, as long as we're on the topic, you do not have a year to send a wedding gift. This is not true. Can you imagine if you got married on Valentine's Day and you did not get a gift until the following January from someone?

Leah: Did somebody say you had a year?

Nick: It is thought...

Leah: ...that you have a year.

Nick: There are people out there on the Internet who think they have a year to send a gift.

Leah: What if you're having something handmade for that person?

Nick: Uh-huh. So you should have started that hand-making process when you got the "save the date."

Leah: OK.

Nick: And you just hope that they don't get divorced...

Leah: OK.

Nick: In the amount of time...

Leah: In the amount of time...

Nick: Yeah. No, you do not have a year to send a gift.

Leah: OK.

Nick: Similarly, you do not have a year to write a thank you note after a wedding, but that's also a separate conversation that we'll have on another day. But yes, you should just send it before or after. You can send a gift as soon as you get the invitation. That's fine. I think you're just inconveniencing your host if you bring the gift to the ceremony.

Leah: OK.

Nick: So...

Leah: What if people are having... OK, this is the rule. OK, I accept it.

Nick: Well, I'm happy to take a follow up.

Leah: I've had, like, a friend of mine recently got married in Los Angeles and they have like a beautiful backyard. And that's where they had their reception.

Nick: OK.

Leah: So we're already at their house.

Nick: I think you still send it because a common etiquette question comes up, which is: "I got a gift and I don't know who it's from because the card fell off or it got mixed up with other gifts." This comes up a lot.

Leah: OK.

Nick: And so I think you avoid this problem if you ship it. Now...

Leah: Or you just put tape on the card and the box.

Nick: Apparently tape is not enough to overcome this problem. Because presumably people do tape the card.

Leah: I doubt they do. I bet they were just slipping it in the ribbon. And that's why it slipped out.

Nick: There could have been some slipping. Yeah, there could be some slipping. I cannot speak for other people's tape behavior.

Leah: Yeah, their tape game was...

Nick: ...not on point.

Leah: Poor.

Nick: But I... OK, if the reception is at their house and you are hand-delivering it, I guess this is a loophole in this rule. Use your discretion. Perhaps this is fine.

Leah: OK.

Nick: But I think generally speaking...

Leah: Otherwise we ship.

Nick: ...if this is anywhere outside of the couple's home, you ship.

Leah: OK.

Nick: OK. So, our next question is a voicemail. Let's play that now.

Caller: Hey, this is Cassie from Texas. I'm calling to see if it would be rude to ask someone if their daughter liked the birthday present you bought them because they never wrote you a thank you note. I have another question on this theme as well. I wanted to know if it's acceptable to text a picture of your kid wearing a gift that someone gave you. Like an outfit or playing with a toy instead of writing a thank you note. Because sometimes I think that a picture is worth a thousand words. So, let me know what you think about that too. OK, thanks. Bye.

Nick: What do you think?

Leah: I think that it's absolutely fine to text and be like, "Hey, did they like the gift?" just to, you know... You're checking in. Also, what if you're going to get them a gift in the future? You don't want to get them a gift in the same line, the same theme, if it wasn't something that was up their alley.

Nick: Right.

Leah: And then, B, I would be fine getting a text with a picture of the child using it. I think that would be a delight.

Nick: Mmm. All right. So, for the first question, I agree. I think...

Leah: I knew you wouldn't agree with the second one, but I've decided to say it anyway, because you recently told me to pick a lane.

Nick: Pick a lane, take a side, take a stand. OK. For the first, yes. I think you should always follow up if you do not get a thank you note. But you can never accuse the person.

Leah: Oh, no. You have to be like, "checking in."

Nick: Yeah, be like." Oh, did you get the thing? Because surely I sent it and surely you would have sent me a thank you note had you received it. So I'm assuming there's a problem with the mail."

Leah: Right.

Nick: Something like that. And so you want to phrase it that way. And then if they say, "Oh, yes, I did. I'm so sorry I didn't write you a thank you note," based on how repentant they sound, you can decide whether or not you want to cease all contact with them forever. So you can decide if that permanently ends the relationship.

Leah: I feel like Nick comes down a lot harder than I do.

Nick: So, hey, thank you notes are important and I'm not going apologize for it. So, that's... I think that's the answer there. Yes, you can follow up and then they should hypothetically apologize for not acknowledging your gift. Now, the second thing: texting a thank you note?

Leah: But you're texting a picture of the gift being used. Also, I feel like people with young kids, especially if it's for like a young kid, they're exhausted.

Nick: So...

Leah: I really have no problem with it.

Nick: There is a hierarchy of formality. And so obviously, the top tier is going be the hand-written thank you note. Below that, I think would be an email. And then below that is a text message. So, I think text message? Yeah, you can send the picture text, OK. Busy mom. Maybe. But it would be nice to err on the side of formality.

Leah: Or I guess split the difference and just put that picture in an email.

Nick: But I think if you have cards at home and you have stamps, the amount of time it takes to actually write a thank you note and send a text message is relatively similar.

Leah: But I think a lot of people don't have stamps ready.

Nick: Well, then get stamps ready.

Leah: OK. I mean...

Nick: I have timed myself where I have seen how long it takes to grab a card, write a nice note, put a stamp on it, and I can do this in two minutes.

Leah: I think it's the picture, though. You're not going to print out a picture.

Nick: I might.

Leah: OK.

Nick: Yeah.

Leah: I mean, then you have to have a color cartridge.

Nick: Well, or you send it to your local CVS.

Leah: That's... I mean, that's a...

Nick: That's too much.

Leah: Have you been in a pharmacy lately in the picture line?

Nick: No.

Leah: You're going to have to take a day...take a day off work.

Nick: It's like the DMV on steroids.

Leah: Yes.

Nick: OK. So, yeah. Can you send a text message? I would rather you not. But if it's a choice between not doing anything and sending a text message? I'll take the text message.

Leah: OK.

Nick: That seems like the lesser of two evils.

Leah: Just for the picture.

Nick: For the picture part.

Leah: I love a picture.

Nick: So if it weren't for the picture, you would say no.

Leah: I would say no. It's the picture.

Nick: And so if it wasn't for the picture, you would say no and then what should they do?

Leah: Then they can send a thank you note.

Nick: Via email or paper?

Leah: Obviously, paper is the fancier, nicer one.

Nick: OK.

Leah: Email is, I think, acceptable, but I think what they're doing is showing the gift being enjoyed, which is what I enjoy about the text message picture.

Nick: That's fair. OK. So, Cassie from Texas, here is your answer. Our next question is: "Is it OK to use the bulkhead on an airplane for stretching when you're not seated at the bulkhead?" So, can you picture what this is asking?

Leah: Is the question, "Is it okay to stand in somebody else's space and do calisthenics?"

Nick: I believe that's the question.

Leah: Then I'm going to say "no."

Nick: Yeah, I think "no" is the answer. Yeah, this is not for you, but this does happen. I've seen this. You know, there's those plane pacers.

Leah: Right.

Nick: You know, they're getting their steps in? They're like mall walkers in the air?

Leah: I do think that some people have, like, leg problems.

Nick: Sure.

Leah: And they have to sort of shake it out.

Nick: No problem.

Leah: I don't know if you need to then like do... If you're bending in front of me?

Nick: Yeah.

Leah: It's aggressive.

Nick: So, I think the solution is to create a little fortress for yourself if you're seated in the bulkhead. Like, you bring your luggage down. You create a little wall at the aisle and you sort of prevent physically any entrance into this forbidden zone.

Leah: Or if somebody comes in, you could just start doing like really oddly gross things.

Nick: Such as?

Leah: You just cough without covering your mouth. I don't know.

Nick: Is that going to seem unusual on an airplane?

Leah: I don't know. Is creating a fortress with items going to seem unusual?

Nick: I like building forts. I still have a youthful spirit, yes.

Leah: Who's doing this to people?

Nick: Oh, this happens, yeah. Because, especially at the places on the airplane where there's the emergency exit and there's a little more girth, you know? There's an area to do a little yoga if required.

Leah: I can see — here's my one percent loophole — you know sometimes your leg falls asleep so bad that you think you're going to die and you just have to, like, shake it up? I can see slipping into that little area where there's the huge emergency and be like, "I just have to stretch my leg real quick. I'm so sorry. Can I just have one little second? Then I'll be out your way.".

Nick: I think if it is couched with that sort of asking for permission.

Leah: Yeah, I would just ask for permission if there's a situation where one must stretch.

Nick: This is a medical emergency.

Leah: Then you just politely apologize, explain the situation, let them know you'll be right out of the way, so you recognize you're in their space.

Nick: Yes. Acknowledge that this your space and I'm intruding on your space.

Leah: Yes.

Nick: Yes. And I think that's the key. The bulkhead is not shared space.

Leah: Yeah.

Nick: So our next question is from somebody who slipped into our DMs on Instagram.

Leah: Hello.

Nick: Yeah, slide on in to our DMs. So, this is a mom who says, "I discovered recently to my horror that my daughter will sometimes walk around at school with her earbuds in her ears when she's not listening to anything. And it made me realize how many times I see people walking around with earbuds in out and about and it makes sense if you're commuting or walking or exercising, but not at school or in a restaurant. And as a teenager, my daughter didn't believe me when I said this was rude because 'everybody's doing it.' What are your thoughts? Where is the line between acceptable and rude earbud behavior?" What say you?

Leah: You know, I feel like initially we were... It was like, "Oh, you know, people are being rude." But I do feel there's a layer to this, which is: I, as a person who, you know, I feel like people yell rude things sometimes. And there's a level of protecting yourself when you have earbuds or earphones of any type in where you can not have to participate in things that are going on around you.

Nick: So it's armor.

Leah: Yeah, you're setting up...especially for shy people or people that sometimes have inappropriate things yelled at, which I think happens to girls a lot. So, sometimes I feel like the question is more why are you wearing the earbuds? And you know, a teenager may be like, "oh, everybody's doing it." But it's also like sometimes you just don't want to tell people that you're trying to hide.

Nick: Right. So it's a way to sort of like prevent people from engaging with you...

Leah: Yes.

Nick: ...for whatever reason.

Leah: So., it may be a part of a larger issue as opposed to something that's just rude.

Nick: Oh, that got deep, Leah.

Leah: Yeah.

Nick: That got deep.

Leah: Yeah, I thought this was a very interesting question.

Nick: Yeah, I mean, from an etiquette perspective, I think it is rude to have ear buds in if you're interacting with somebody else.

Leah: Yes.

Nick: So, if you are stepping up to the counter to order coffee, you should remove your earbuds.

Leah: I always pull one out.

Nick: I think you should remove both.

Leah: I just, well... I don't have the buds. I have the...

Nick: The attachy ones?

Leah: Yeah, the attachy ones from 1975.

Nick: Yeah, you're old skool.

Leah: I would still have a Walkman. But, so I just take one. If I take both out, I'm going to lose it. Obviously I can hear them. I just want them to know I'm not on the phone with anybody or listening to anything.

Nick: OK. So as long as you've committed to the person that you were engaged in this conversation fully.

Leah: Yes. I definitely... Like, if you're talking with somebody, you take them out.

Nick: Right.

Leah: But I do think if you're walking through a hallway, maybe they have them in because they're shy.

Nick: Yeah.

Leah: Or hiding.

Nick: So, I think for our question writer, I think we take your daughter's side on this one that this is fine.

Leah: Yes.

Nick: And I think if you wanted to follow up, and it's not an etiquette follow up but this is just a parenting follow up, you might inquire if there is something behind this.

Leah: Yeah. And and if that person you're out in public and the child or teenager is having a conversation with you with their earbuds in?

Nick: That's rude.

Leah: Then you're like, "take it out, that's rude."

Nick: Yeah. Yeah, exactly. Yeah. If your earbuds could only be if you are solo.

Leah: Like I never... A lot of times when I'm walking, especially at night, I never have music on, but I pretend I'm listening to something so I'm occupied.

Nick: Right. Yeah, you want to create a bubble of "don't mess with me".

Leah: Yes.

Nick: Okay. Do you have questions for us? Oh, yes you do. Send them to us. You can send them to us through our website — — or you can leave us voicemail or send us a text message: (267) CALL-RBW. And there's more. Stay tuned.

[Musical Interlude]

Nick: And we're back. And now we're gonna play a game we like to call "Vent or Repent."

Leah: "Vent or Repent."

Nick: And so it's our opportunity to vent about some bad etiquette experience we've had recently or we can repent about some etiquette faux pas we've committed.

Leah: I'd like to point out that none of us have ever chosen repent.

Nick: Perhaps we have nothing to repent for. Isn't that possible?

Leah: I actually had a repent moment in the middle of doing something and then I ran right back and ran to this stranger that I felt I'd handled incorrectly in real time and was like, "I would just like to apologize for what just happened."

Nick: Nice. Very nice. Well, for today, would you like to vent or repent?

Leah: I think I'm going to vent.

Nick: OK.

Leah: So, this is specifically related to me being a comic and I was recently in the restroom. A lot of times people share restrooms with the patrons. So, I was in there. I hadn't gone on stage yet, so I was down there, you know, just... I like to just double check, make sure everything's where it should be, you know what I mean? Is my hair, you know... just do a quick little runsie. And women came in who were in the show room and then they were just complaining about how they hated somebody. And, you know, another comic on the show and it's like you're still in the venue and I'm in here. You don't know who I am. And then they just didn't stop. They were just like... it just really... it was aggressively... You know, those are human beings on stage really trying their best. The least you could do is wait until you're outside or see if you're alone in the restroom. Unbelievable. So then I went up and it was so hard for me to just not lay into those two women the entire time. But I didn't because, you know...

Nick: You're a good person.

Leah: I was trying to take the high road, but I want to be like, "why would you do that?"

Nick: Yeah, you should always save your critical commentary for outside.

Leah: I could have been, like, the mom of the person onstage or like the best friend. It's just... zip it up. These are people. You're not at home watching television.

Nick: Yeah. All right, so don't do that.

Leah: Don't do that.

Nick: Yeah. For me, I would also like to vent. Surprise. And for me this week, it comes to the gym. There's a lot of bad things that happen in the gym. Gym etiquette is a whole topic. But this has to do with the water bottle filling station. So, a lot of gyms now have like the water bottle filling station, which is good. This is environmental. Fill up a whole thing. So my issue is you're waiting to use this thing and the person in front of you is filling up a 64-gallon bucket of water and you're waiting for them to finish and this is taking forever. And it's like you are not going to drink that much water during your workout. You just aren't. It's not going to happen. It's physically impossible. You do not need that much water. And so you're just waiting and waiting and waiting. And then they always give you like this little look as they're leaving 20 minutes later, which is like, "oh, you were behind? So sorry." And then they sort of skip away and you're like, "that's rude.".

Leah: Right.

Nick: "That's rude." So what I would prefer you do is fill up an amount of water that is appropriate for your workout. Six ounces? Eight if you're real thirsty? And then step aside. Let me fill up my bottle to the level I feel is appropriate and then you can step back if required and continue on your journey. That would be nice. But to fill up just this 40-gallon drum of just liquid...

Leah: That seems excessive.

Nick: It's totally excessive. So, I don't care for this, I would rather people didn't do it, and I'm bothered by it.

Leah: "I don't care for this." That is my new favorite saying.

Nick: I said a lot. I'm going to put it on a pillow.

Leah: What if the person acknowledged you while they were filling up? They're like, "I'm so sorry. I'm really thirsty. I have to drink 64 gallons. I'm really going..."

Nick: If they acknowledge that it is medically required...

Leah: Yup.

Nick: ...for them to drink an Olympic-sized swimming pool of water, then you know what? That's between you and your doctor. And that's fine.

Leah: Ok.

Nick: If it's not that, then that's rude.

Leah: OK.

Nick: After the break, there's lots more things that are probably rude. Stay tuned.

[Musical Interlude]

Nick: So, Leah, what have we learned?

Leah: I really learned a lot.

Nick: I think you have definitely learned a lot today.

Leah: Today, I learned... I mean, I didn't even know that there was learning about grapes, you know what I mean? Like, I... I learned that I have stuff to learn about grapes. Who knew?

Nick: Who knew?

Leah: It's very exciting.

Nick: There are such things as grape etiquette.

Leah: I didn't know. And gifts to the wedding.

Nick: Yeah.

Leah: I'm not going to bring it unless it's in the backyard.

Nick: Right.

Leah: Very specific.

Nick: This assumes you're ever invited to a wedding.

Leah: That's so hurtful. Multiple people have invited me to weddings.

Nick: OK.

Leah: I'm a great dancer.

Nick: Oh.

Leah: I often keep a dance party going.

Nick: OK.

Leah: Because I obviously have no problem embarrassing myself.

Nick: That is true.

Leah: And you need one of those people at your wedding.

Nick: And I learned that you speak multiple languages and can curse in Hungarian.

Leah: Yes.

Nick: Which I feel like will come in handy for us someday.

Leah: Yes. We will need it at some point.

Nick: Well, thank you, Leah.

Leah: Thank you.

Nick: And thanks to you out there for listening. If I had your address, I'd send you a handwritten note on my custom engraved stationery. Please subscribe to the show wherever you listen to podcasts and leave us a review and we'd be delighted if you would follow us on Instagram and buy some official merch in our store and send us your questions at And now hopefully nobody will ask, "Were you raised by wolves?" See you next time.

[Instrumental Theme Song]