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April 26, 2021

Adding Ice Cubes to Wine, Wiping Down Gym Equipment, Shouting in Supermarkets, and More

Etiquette, manners, and beyond! In this bonus episode, Nick and Leah answer listener questions about adding ice cubes to wine, wiping down equipment at the gym, shouting at employees in supermarkets, and much more. Please follow us! (We'd send you a hand-written thank you note if we had your address.)

Etiquette, manners, and beyond! In this bonus episode, Nick and Leah answer listener questions about adding ice cubes to wine, wiping down equipment at the gym, shouting at employees in supermarkets, and much more. Please follow us! (We'd send you a hand-written thank you note if we had your address.)

QUESTIONS FROM THE WILDERNESS:

  • Is it OK to ask people to buy me housewarming gifts even if there's no party?
  • Is it rude to add ice cubes to your wine?
  • At the gym, should you wipe down equipment before or after use?
  • What would be a good gift for someone who wrote me a reference letter?
  • Vent: A host makes guests do all the work
  • PSA: Shouting at people in the supermarket

 

THINGS MENTIONED DURING THE SHOW

 

YOU ARE CORDIALLY INVITED TO...

CREDITS

Hosts: Nick Leighton & Leah Bonnema

Producer & Editor: Nick Leighton

Theme Music: Rob Paravonian

Transcript

Nick: Hey, everybody. It's Nick Leighton.

Leah: And I'm Leah Bonnema.

Nick: And we had some great questions from you all in the wilderness ...

Leah: [howls]

Nick: That we have a bonus episode. So here we go. Our first question is, quote, "I have a friend who recently moved to a new apartment in New York, and created a housewarming registry. For various reasons, she didn't throw a housewarming party, she simply emailed people asking them to help celebrate her move by getting her a gift. While she included close friends who would have gotten her a gift anyway, she also emailed anyone whose wedding or baby shower she has attended over the years—including people she hasn't spoken to in close to a decade. Her rationale is that she has spent thousands and thousands of dollars celebrating people's weddings and babies, and she doesn't see how she will ever recoup any of those costs in the same way. For context, she has been single for a long time and says she doesn't want any kids, so she sees this as her only opportunity to get something in return.

Nick: "I get the unfairness of the fact that major life celebrations are traditionally centered around things like marriage and parenthood, while great solo accomplishments do not get as much attention. And there's a whole Sex and the City episode where Samantha complains about this exact thing. And while it is lovely to attend these events, they do add up. So I do understand why it's irksome to always be the giver and never the receiver. But I get the feeling that sending a housewarming registry to dozens of people, some of whom were contacted completely out of the blue and aren't even close enough with her anymore to even know that she moved is tacky and aggressive. Thoughts?"

Leah: I have many levels of thoughts on this.

Nick: Oh, I have lots of levels, yeah,

Leah: I have lots of levels.

Nick: Mm-hmm. Yep, I have thoughts.

Leah: Did you want to go first?

Nick: Oh, yeah. This is tacky. Mm-hmm. [laughs] Actually, I have one level. That's kind of my level. Yeah, I think I just have one level here. I think if I received this and I hadn't seen this person in a decade, I would think, "Wow, you have some nerve!" And I think any time your feeling about something is, "Wow, you have some nerve," that is generally a good sign that an etiquette crime has been committed. So, yeah, she's got some nerve, basically explicitly asking people to give her goods. Yeah, that's tacky.

Leah: I do think the idea of, like, recouping from friends ...

Nick: Recouping? Yeah, that's a very finance-y word.

Leah: Yeah, strong word choices because I don't think we think of giving things to people as that kind of, "I did this, and now you owe me."

Nick: Yes. This person definitely feels like her relationships are a ledger. It's an Excel spreadsheet with credits and debits, and we're kind of keeping track. And that's a dangerous thing when it comes to etiquette.

Leah: But I do think, outside of that kind of language and sending people that you haven't talked to in 30 years a ...

Nick: An invoice, basically.

Leah: Yeah. I do think that a lot of times, we have very set—as our letter writer noted, set celebrations that we do: marriages, baby showers.

Nick: Right.

Leah: And so people who have very big life events that they want to celebrate, I do think there should be a way that we can be like, "Here's a big life thing I'm doing. I'd love to celebrate and share with everybody." I do think that that's very cool.

Nick: Well, there is a way to do that, and it's to have a celebration where we celebrate that thing. And that's perfectly fine. If I have a new house, and I want to invite people over to celebrate this with me, I'm free to do that. I pay for that event myself. I make sure all my guests are comfortable with food and drink and happiness. And that's great. And if my guests wanted to bring a gift, they can. They're not obligated to do so. And that's fine. But we can still celebrate that accomplishment. I think the problem is that we are associating celebration with receiving goods and services. And so that's where we get into trouble when, like, celebration equals gift. And that's not actually true.

Leah: Outside of the way it was done, there was this little voice inside of me that can feel the friend in here being like, "Is there a day that I could get presents too?" You know what I mean? In more of this, like ...

Nick: Yes. Well, I think there is a feeling of unfairness. Our person in the story, the star of the story, feels like this is an unfair system. That I have outlayed all this cash for all these other celebrations, and when will it be my turn? And she feels like society doesn't give me an opportunity as a single, non-child person to receive the same level of gifts, I guess. And so she feels like this is an unfair thing. And okay, I understand. But also, she was not obligated to spend all this money on other people's gifts. Like, you don't have to spend a lot of money on thoughtful gifts. So, like, that wasn't required, either.

Leah: Right. That's why I wonder if the person in the story—not the letter writer—at some level, it's not even about the actual gift, they just sort of wanted attention.

Nick: Oh, it's about justice?

Leah: Just like a me day, they want it to be a me day. And they definitely went about it all wrong, but I can understand that wanting a “Me Day,” like, here's a big thing I did.

Nick: Okay, yes. Although I think etiquette would definitely frown upon the concept of a me day, although said the person that has a Nick Leighton Appreciation Day on the calendar.

Leah: [laughs]

Nick: So I don't know if I'm exactly a neutral voice on this topic. But yeah, I get there's an idea of, like, wanting to be celebrated, and feeling like I have less opportunities in my life for that same level of recognition. Okay, yeah. That's fair.

Leah: Because of the way society has set up what we recognize.

Nick: Right.

Leah: I'm not saying that that makes the rest of it okay. I'm just saying at the core, I see why when a person would want to be like, "This is a thing I want to have as a celebration that I did. In my life, this is a big thing."

Nick: Yes. I think the hazard here is that we are equating recognition with gifts, and so those things are a little incompatible. Like, basically sending an announcement that I've moved, that would be one thing. Sending a request for goods is tacky. And I think any time you actually specifically ask people to buy you things, this is always tacky. Like even in a wedding, it's a little tacky to be like, here's a list of things you should buy me. Like, registries are a little tacky in that way. So I think we always want to avoid that. There is the pageantry that we need in the wedding, which is like, yes, you do buy a wedding gift if you go to a wedding, but you're not explicitly demanded to bring the gift. Like, there's just that sort of unspoken rule, which is etiquette. And so by explicitly telling people to buy you things and I'm not even gonna have a party, I'm just gonna send you a link, you know, it's tacky. Yeah, at the end of the day, it's tacky.

Leah: But I get it.

Nick: Yeah, I get it. I get it. But yes, I think it's tacky and aggressive, and it shouldn't be done.

Leah: But also, I'll buy you a present. Good for you. Moving? It's horrible and hard.

Nick: Yes. And I think your close friends, which is the people you want anyway to be celebrating this with you, they're gonna get you a gift, and that's great. The move here, if that was a little bit of a mistake, was the wider list.

Leah: Yeah.

Nick: To send an invoice.

Leah: Which makes me laugh, because it is—and I know it is tacky and aggressive, but it is very funny in many levels where she is like, "I've been to y'all's baby stuff and your marriages. And here's me. I just—it's like that lady who started reading the—you know, when people just, like, do something kind of wild and you're like, "I'm impressed. I'm impressed." You know what I mean?

Nick: Like, that's a bold move and I respect you for it.

Leah: Yeah, that's what it is, it's the boldness.

Nick: Like, if I had not seen this person in a decade and I got an email which was like, "I went to your wedding, I bought you a gravy boat. I'm never gonna get married. I'm not gonna have kids. But I just got a house, and here's the registry link. You know what? I would buy you a gift then.

Leah: Especially if it was worded like that, I would be like ...

Nick: If it was worded exactly like that, and be like, "I'm never gonna have kids. I'm not gonna get married. I just bought a house. Here's the registry link. Thank you so much." You know what? Slow clap. I'm gonna give you a slow clap for that. And I'm gonna to the registry and I'm gonna buy the mixer. Yeah, I'm gonna do it.

Leah: [laughs] Yes! Yes! If it was worded like that though too, I would be like—I would almost have to high five him. I'd be like, "Wow!"

Nick: Yeah. You know, it would be—actually, it would be pretty wonderful. Yeah, so I think if you're gonna do this, go all in. Don't pretend that you're doing something that's good etiquette.

Leah: Yeah.

Nick: That's actually probably the problem. She feels like this is her only opportunity, and so she thinks it's sort of like, oh, this is an etiquette-approved opportunity to get gifts, and it's like, oh, it's not.

Leah: Yeah, I'm going to slide it in. Yeah.

Nick: Yeah. No, no, you can't slide into this sort of present DM. No, you just got to be real bold about it if you're gonna go there.

Leah: You got to own what you're doing.

Nick: Yeah, own it. In which case, KitchenAid's on its way.

Leah: Oh, KitchenAid's so nice.

Nick: So our next question is, quote, "Is it rude to add ice cubes to your wine?"

Leah: I just wrote, like, a lot of "Ha ha ha's" after that.

Nick: Okay, why?

Leah: I don't think it's rude. I think it's some people like ice cubes in their wine, and it's always very funny when it happens.

Nick: Yeah. I mean, I think there are a lot of thoughts on this. I mean, I think it kind of depends on who you ask and where you are.

Leah: I only think it's funny because some people are so against it, and then some people just always do it, that to see the people who are, like, so against it get upset by those who do it, and you're just like, they're just putting an ice cube in it.

Nick: Yeah. I mean, this is not the worst thing in the world. Right. Like, in general, my first thought was that wine is about enjoyment. And so at the end of the day, if this is how you enjoy this beverage, then have at it. Like, no harm, no foul. I think it should be said, though, that when you add ice to wine, you are diluting it. And so much about the experience of wine drinking is the aroma and taste and all that. And so, like, if this is a nice wine, then you're kind of losing some of the things that are making this nice wine sort of nice. So it's kind of like, you know, a Kobe beef well done with ketchup all over it. Like, it's kind of a waste of that thing. But if that's how you like your steak then, like, have it well done. Have at it. But I think that's where people are kind of coming at this from.

Leah: Right. Also, some people are diluting it on purpose because they want less alcohol, or they get drunk quickly, or they actually like very cold wine. And I think, no big deal.

Nick: Yeah. I mean, I think on a hot day, you're sitting poolside at Soho House with a glass of rosé with ice in it? Like, have at it.

Leah: Have at it. I think people do get judgy with people who put ice cubes in their wine. It's like, just let them put ice cubes in their wine.

Nick: Yeah. Well, there's also a lot of judgment around alcoholic beverages in general. Like, what do you order at a bar? Like, what's your beverage? You know, a lot of shame around drinking cosmos today. You know, it's still a good drink, I guess, on some level.

Leah: Yeah, it's like, let people enjoy what they enjoy.

Nick: Yeah. Like, what's it to you? Like, it doesn't affect your life, you know? So if you want to put ice cubes in your rosé, like, have at it.

Leah: Have at it. That's exactly what it is. What's it to you?

Nick: What's it to you? And it should be noted that there are actually, like, wines specifically designed now to be drunk on ice. Moët, they actually have a whole champagne line designed to be on ice. So that's a thing.

Leah: That's very fun.

Nick: Oh, and speaking of Moët, can I just sidebar? So you do say the 'T.' It's Moët. He was Dutch. He wasn't French. So the correct pronunciation is Moët.

Leah: My guess is that Nick just helped out 75 percent of us.

Nick: However, you do not have permission to make a big show of that at your next cocktail party. So I'm giving you that information, but you're not allowed to correct people if they say it wrong.

Leah: Well, I mean ...

Nick: But then as long as we're talking about champagne names, Taittinger? It's not Taittinger. And it's not Bollinger, it's Bollinger.

Leah: I'm pretty sure I've actually said Tangiers.

Nick: Oh, that's—I hope you're not getting champagne from there. You're getting ripped off. So back to the original question, is it rude? No. No, I guess it's not rude. I mean, I think if I was hosting a party and I served you wine and you put ice in it, it would catch my eye in terms of like, "Oh, am I serving you something that's not drinkable or incorrect or too warm?" But then I'd be like, "No, of course I'm not doing that. So you just like it this way."

Leah: Yeah, some people just like it that way. And I think we should not make people feel weird for how they like things.

Nick: Yeah. And I think when it comes to wine, it's never wrong if that's how you like it and you're making a deliberate choice.

Leah: Yeah.

Nick: So that's that. So our next question is, quote, "At the gym, should we wipe down equipment before or after using? I thought after, since you're leaving it ready for the next person. But not everyone seems to think so. Thoughts?"

Leah: My thought is, who doesn't think that you're not supposed to wipe it down after?

Nick: I've been at the gym, and there's lots of people that don't wipe down their equipment. So apparently, a lot of people.

Leah: They're not wiping it down. But I mean, there are people that are like, "No, it would be wrong," because they're just not thinking about other people. But are there people that are like, "Oh, it would be wrong to wipe it down after?" Are there those people?

Nick: Oh, yeah. They'd, like, know the etiquette rule and just think of it differently.

Leah: Yeah.

Nick: Yeah. No, no, I don't think we have those people who are firm pre-wipe people.

Leah: I do a pre and a post.

Nick: For sure, yes. Because I have been in the gym and I see that people don't wipe it down. So I have no assurance that this bench is clean. Yes.

Leah: But absolutely after.

Nick: Yeah, definitely after is definitely courteous. And I guess it depends on probably what I'm doing on the bench. Like, if I'm just sitting on the bench, I may not wipe it down before I use it. If I'm leaning on the bench with my head against it, then I'm definitely gonna wipe it down first.

Leah: Yeah.

Nick: Yeah. So that's the answer there. Also, if you're going to wipe down a bench, wipe it down. I see people that take the disinfectant wipe and, like, hover over the bench like it's reiki. No. No, no. If you're gonna wipe the bench, wipe the bench. Get in there, make sure it's actually clean.

Leah: Agreed. Wipe it!

Nick: Wipe it! So our next question is, quote, "I am a law student whose current boss so wonderfully went out of her way to help me get a great job over the summer. She sent out my resume, emailed her friends, overall just really went to bat for me. I want to thank her, but I'm limited on funds and keep talking myself out of it. I was thinking of sending her something, but I don't know what's appropriate, and I keep swirling in the quote, 'She can just buy something better mess.' If you have any advice on what's an appropriate gift, I'm in need." I feel like you probably have this anxiety sometimes.

Leah: Oh, I absolutely have this anxiety, so I completely understand it. Obviously, this person, so lovely that they did this.

Nick: Yes.

Leah: And then you feel, oh, it's so lovely, I don't know how to say 'thank you.' And just say 'thank you.' Write a very lovely note. And they know that you're a law student and they make more money. They're not expecting you to, like, buy them a house or a car.

Nick: Right? Yes, a new car in exchange for a letter of recommendation seems a little extreme, sure.

Leah: Yeah. It's not something they could just by themselves, it's just something heartfelt.

Nick: Yeah. And I think in general, my thought here was, so often we make perfect be the enemy of good. And I think as I get older, good enough is fine. Like, I don't need to strive for perfection. Good enough is good enough and, like, let's not worry about it. It's also helpful that my good enough is actually most people's perfect. So that's helpful. But I think in general ...

Leah: [laughs] For the rest of us. For the rest of us.

Nick: For everyone else.

Leah: Down here in the gutter.

Nick: Right. For civilians.

Leah: I think a heartfelt thank-you note, and then, like, a lovely—I mean, I think that we always know things that people like. You know what I mean? Because they've mentioned it to us. Like their favorite coffee shop they always go to. Or you could bake something for them.

Nick: Yes.

Leah: Or do they have a favorite flower? Or have they talked about how they never get time off? So you rented them a movie for, you know, it's like a night, it's like a date night with himself. And you send them, like, a face mask and, like, an iTunes rental. You know what I mean?

Nick: Yeah.

Leah: Just like something ...

Nick: Yeah, that's fun. It could go the wrong way. So, you know, workshop that or know your audience.

Leah: I'm just, like, throwing out ideas.

Nick: No, I love it. Yeah. No, put it on the whiteboard. Yeah. I think just get out an 8 1/2" x 11" piece of paper—or A4 for our European listeners—and just write why you are writing this letter. Like, why are you writing this letter? What did they do for you that you appreciate, and why do you appreciate it, and what did it mean to you? And I think that will be the best gift of all. I don't think you actually need to send a gift, necessarily. Like, you can. You might buy them dinner. You might send them a bag of coffee from their favorite coffee place or the face mask thing, as previously mentioned. But I think just a letter I think would be the most meaningful of all and would be the most appreciated. And letters like this don't get better the longer you wait. Just send it. Just send it today, like, before five o'clock. Just write it and send it.

Leah: I absolutely agree with Nick.

Nick: Yeah.

Leah: I think the letter is the most important part.

Nick: Yeah.

Leah: And then if you feel like you should do a gift, make it just something ...

Nick: Thoughtful.

Leah: ... thoughtful. And little. It doesn't—it's just a—you're just showing ...

Nick: It's a token.

Leah: Yeah, it's a token.

Nick: Yeah. And I think we so try to do something that's sort of like too good and it's like, don't worry about it. Just the thought that counts. And that's really true.

Leah: Yeah. I absolutely agree with Nick, and I struggle with the same thing, the enemy perfect and good enemies.

Nick: Mm-hmm.

Leah: That it's just like, get it out. Just get it out.

Nick: Just get it done, yeah. Because, like, not sending it, that's bad. That's definitively bad. So sending something is gonna be better than that.

Leah: Yeah.

Nick: So just do that, please.

Leah: And they did it because they clearly believe in you and are excited for you and want to do this.

Nick: Yes.

Leah: And so that's why the thank-you note is the most important part.

Nick: So don't disappoint them.

Leah: [laughs] No pressure on that.

Nick: So our next thing is a vent, and it starts with, quote, "I just needed to vent. So we recently decided to have a gathering to celebrate the conclusion of a special work project for me and my colleagues. One person in the group—we'll call him Chad—insisted on hosting, and insisted on having the party start fairly late into the evening, which was super inconvenient to most everyone attending. Leading up to the event, it became increasingly clear that the only reason Chad wanted to host was because it was convenient for him and he didn't feel like leaving his house. And the only reason the event was so late was because he wanted it to start after his kids had been put to bed. While not our boss, Chad does have a close connection to all the upper-level people in our organization, so we all felt like we had no choice but to just go along with this.

Nick: "Chad doesn't normally host our gatherings, so he expressed needing help with some of the details. He didn't have everyone's contact info, so one of us had to take charge of the invites. He didn't know where to start with the food, so one of us graciously gave him a caterer to contact. Then, two days before the event, he says, 'Oh, isn't it easier to just get delivery?' While certainly doable, it would have been a bit of a challenge since his house is a little outside most places' normal delivery zone. He also didn't have the apps to place the order, like DoorDash, Seamless or Postmates, and he thought it was, quote, 'too complicated.' So a colleague and I had to take over food duty, and arrange delivery from two different places in order to feed a group this size. We also had to pay for it ourselves, even though Chad did agree to foot the bill beforehand since he was hosting, and he has yet to offer to reimburse us for what we spent. We also had to do the same thing for the beverage situation. So I just want to vent and say that, if you insist on hosting, then please be courteous and responsible enough to handle the job, because in the end, the guests did all the work for him. And although at the party I enjoyed the time spent with everyone, I couldn't help but feel just annoyed the whole time."

Leah: I mean, I started sweating halfway through it and I felt uncomfortable in my stomach.

Nick: [laughs]

Leah: Instead of hosting, they should have been like, "Hey, can I not host? Can I do what the opposite of hosting is?"

Nick: Yeah. It's called being a guest. [laughs] Yeah. no, the technical etiquette term here for Chad is "bad person." That's the technical term.

Leah: [laughs] That's the dictionary definition.

Nick: But yeah, if you're gonna host, then host. And if you're not gonna host, then don't host. But don't say you're gonna host, and then not host.

Leah: It's like forced hosting.

Nick: Yeah.

Leah: We're doing this here, we're doing it on my timeline, but I'm not gonna do any of it.

Nick: Yeah. And actually, I'm gonna also make you do all of it.

Leah: Yeah.

Nick: So it's a potluck, but on my terms.

Leah: Yeah, exactly.

Nick: Yeah. Like, what is this?

Leah: In my parameters, you're doing it.

Nick: Yeah. I mean, I definitely would think twice before going to any other parties that Chad hosts. Like, that's a thought.

Leah: That's so funny because I have been to those places where you're just—you're so irritated, but then you're like, "I like everybody else here, I'm gonna have a good time. I'm just gonna have a good time." But inside, you want to be like, "What is wrong with you?"

Nick: But what I don't love in the story is that there's this power dynamic at play, and that we felt obligated to go along with it because Chad has some power here. And I don't love that.

Leah: I do feel like that happens so often.

Nick: Oh, it definitely happens. And I would suspect that Chad knows he has some power, and knows he can get away with bad behavior like this. Because, like, Chad knows on some level that this is not right.

Leah: Oh, for sure. I thought that was a part of the bad person definition, because they know. That's why they did it.

Nick: [laughs] Yeah, I think Chad knows because he has power and knows he can get away with it, he is gonna try and get away with it.

Leah: Yep.

Nick: And he did. He did. So—and there will probably be no consequences to him. That's what's actually perverse here, that there will be no consequences.

Leah: Except it's like a slow tide of people that eventually are like, "Ugh..."

Nick: "Chad is the worst."

Leah: "Chad is the worst."

Nick: Yes. Although this is probably not the first time Chad has done something like this.

Leah: No. For sure.

Nick: This is totally Chad's thing.

Leah: Yeah.

Nick: Yeah. So one question is, do we ask to be reimbursed for all the money we spent on the food and beverage for Chad's party? Chad offered, but Chad has not coughed up the cash yet.

Leah: I mean ...

Nick: That's tricky.

Leah: That is very tricky. I think it's a personal choice, weighing it in—you know, I don't think this person asked us if we thought they should.

Nick: No, we weren't asked.

Leah: That's never stopped us before. [laughs]

Nick: No, definitely not. Definitely not going to stop at that. I mean, if the number of people at this party was so large that we couldn't actually order enough food from one place, we had to order from two places, these Seamless DoorDash, Postmates bill here that went on my credit card is, you know, I'm probably pushing $1,000.

Leah: I mean, I think a way that it could be done is, "Oh, hey. You had mentioned that you wanted to reimburse us. Let us know the best way to do that. Do you want to on Venmo, or do you want me to forward you the receipt?"

Nick: Mm.

Leah: Like, as a little reminder up top. Like, that's what you had mentioned.

Nick: Right. "You had said."

Leah: "What's the easiest way? Let me figure that out for you."

Nick: Mm, I guess that's probably better than just sending a Venmo request.

Leah: I always am just like, "Hey, remember ..."

Nick: "Remember you explicitly said when you were hosting this party that you would do this?"

Leah: "And then how do you want to do it? Thanks!"

Nick: Okay.

Leah: Like, I would go in assuming that, of course they were going to.

Nick: Yes. "I'm busy, Chad is very busy."

Leah: They're just very busy, and that how would you like me to facilitate that?

Nick: But I think if we do not get a response to that, or we do not actually get payment, I think we would drop it. I think we probably drop it after that. And then just make sure that everybody else at the party knows that that happened.

Leah: [laughs]

Nick: [laughs] Yeah, that's probably how I would do that.

Leah: Well, I assume that all the other guests would probably pitch in after that and be like, "Oh, I don't want you to have to cover that."

Nick: Yeah. I mean, if that happened to somebody, I would definitely pitch in my fair share.

Leah: Oh, me too.

Nick: Absolutely.

Leah: I'd be like, "Oh my God, let me give you money."

Nick: "That's horrible. You know, here's the—whatever I owe you." Right. So sorry this happened to you.

Leah: Very sorry this happened.

Nick: Hopefully it's the last time. It won't be the last time.

Leah: I loved your dictionary definition.

Nick: Yeah. Well, there are technical terms, and I think it's important to use precise technical language when called upon.

Leah: I mean, that's why we're here, to learn the technical terms.

Nick: Yes, so "Bad person." So our last thing is a PSA. Quote, "I have a PSA. My aunt is a monster in grocery stores. I'm sorry to say it, but it's true. She has a habit of walking up to store workers or yelling to them from down the aisle, and just loudly saying the name of the item she's looking for. For example, if she can't find the eggs, I would say, 'Hi. How are you? I'm good, thanks. Where would I find the eggs? Thank you!' She just screams, 'Eggs! Eggs!' She just screams 'Eggs!' down the aisle at the poor employee, and then heads off in the direction they tell her. Please do not do this, people. Treat workers like all humans, treat all humans like humans. Just because you were raised by wolves doesn't mean everyone you meet is also an animal."

Leah: It's such a funny visual. Like, this lady walking into the store and being like, "Eggs! Milk! Bread!"

Nick: [laughs] Right? Just food words. Just yelling food words down the aisle. Yeah. Yeah, don't do that. Yeah, I think that's true. Don't do that. I mean, how much of a problem is this in society, though? Are there a lot of people doing this, or is it just this one woman?

Leah: I don't know. It gives me such a—I have never seen it.

Nick: I have not witnessed this in the wild myself, but it's a good PSA, that if this is something that you do, don't.

Leah: Don't do it!

Nick: Yeah.

Leah: I also, for some reason, in my visual of her, I threw in a very big hat.

Nick: Oh, you got “hat” from this?

Leah: You know, she was just like, "Eggs!"

Nick: Oh, I see. Sort of an exhausted sort of call for help. Like, "Oh, I have the vapors"

Leah: Yes.

Nick: "I need eggs."

Leah: Vapors! "Milk! Where is it? Someone!"

Nick: Oh, I got more of a pantsuit vibe from this.

Leah: Okay. Okay.

Nick: But yeah, just a woman who's busy. You know, she's got places to be. I don't have time to do complete sentences, so we're gonna go right to the point.

Leah: I like both outfit choices. They're both fun. I think it's because I just watched Sunset Boulevard, so everybody's very Norma Desmond.

Nick: Oh, well, of course. You've got gowns and staircases here. Absolutely.

Leah: "Eggs!"

Nick: Right. It's not the eggs that got small, it's the carton.

Leah: [laughs]

Nick: So do you have questions for us? Or a PSA? Or a vent? Let us know, we would love to hear it.

Leah: We love them.

Nick: So send them to us through our website, wereyouraisedbywolves.com, or you can leave us a voicemail or send us a text message or shout to us down the aisle, (267) CALL-RBW. And we'll see you next time.

Leah: Bye!

Nick: Bye!

Leah: "Eggs!" [laughs]

Nick: Nice. I was also about to say "eggs." I appreciate you went for it.